


Werewolf bite

by Seeyousoonmaybe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action & Romance, F/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seeyousoonmaybe/pseuds/Seeyousoonmaybe
Summary: The marauders are starting their last year at Hogwarts.Unfortunately, there are being confronted to a brand new situation.This is a little tribute to Remus Lupin. I really love this character and I wanted to send him some love.Hope you enjoy!Comments and votes are welcome !





	1. Back to Hogwarts

**April’s POV:**

Today, I’m about to start my 7th and last year at Hogwarts. I’m standing alone on the Platform 9/34, waiting to enter the black and red train. Everyone around me seems to be in a hurry. Parents and kids are running around with their baggage, trying not to miss the train. The smoke emanating from the engine is only adding to the already big chaos.

 

Unfortunately for me, there is no one I can hug goodbye. I never had the luck to meet my parents. They abandoned me as soon as they came out of the hospital wing where I was born. I grew up in an orphanage, not bothering to search for the people who leaved me behind. I don’t even know if they were muggles or wizards. My letter was brought seven years ago by a little owl. That’s when I discovered that magic actually exists.

 

I look around me to see parents hugging their child goodbye and I can’t help but feel some sort of emptiness spreading inside my heart. Even after so many years, I steel feel like a freak. No family, no close friends. I’m the type of girl sitting in front of the lake or by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room reading a book. After so many years, I’m used to shut myself in my own world in order to ignore the pain the real world could bring to me.

 

I let out a sigh before walking strait to the train, the wind blowing in my curly long brown hair. I immediately start searching for an empty compartment. I know that other students are probably going to join me but I don’t care. I sit in the first one I find and take my latest book out.

 

Just as predicted I hear the door getting pushed open to reveal four boys and a girl with long red hair. I glance at them before returning to my book again, internally sighing. This is just my luck. I’m going to share my compartment with the gang known as the marauders. James Potter is a tall boy with black hair and big glasses. Next is Sirius Black, the handsome boy that every single girl seams to fancy (everyone besides me of curse). The two other boys are shyer. Peter Pettigrow is a small boy, always running behind them like a little puppy dog. Remus Lupin on the other hand is probably the most mysterious one. He has dark blond hair always covering his scared face. He doesn’t speak much, obviously preferring to study while the others are planning pranks. It makes me wonder why he actually continues to hang out with them.

 

These guys are known as the greatest troublemakers in Hogwarts. I don’t really know the girl, despite the fact that we are in the same house. I know for sure that her name is Lily Evans and that something is going on between her and James Potter.

 

They all take a seat with Lily in front of me and Remus on my left.

“What are you reading?” Lily suddenly asks me as the train heads off.

I look up to meet her green eyes and I can’t hide my surprise. No one actually wants to speak with me usually.

“Humm… It’s a muggle book actually…” I slightly respond, trying not to stutter in the process as everyone turns their heads towards me. I feel really uncomfortable, not use to drive attention to myself.

“What is it about?” she continues to ask me, giving me a comforting smile.

“It’s about a woman trying to teach the humans to accept other mystical creatures. They lived in war for so many years and she’s the first person that truly accept them as they are.” I give her a short summary.

“Sounds great” she simply replies before turning around to speak with James sitting on her right.

Everyone starts to laugh and chat happily. I soon feel like I doesn’t belong in this conversation anymore so I turn my attention back to my book.

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

The others continue to chat and laugh around, planning their next prank as soon as they would enter the school. I doesn’t bother to take any part of this conversation so I take out my book and start to read, just like the girl sitting right next to me. The marauders definitely are my best friends. They were the only one accepting me as a werewolf back to our first year in Hogwarts. They kept my secret safe from all the other students. No one has to know that I change into a cruel monster every full moon, losing all kind of control on myself. They even decided to change themselves into Animagus, thanks to Lily’s help, to be by my side during this hard process. Every once in a month, we sneak out of the castle to hide into an abandoned cabin until sunrise.

 

Even if I don’t agree with all they prank leading us all to detention, I can’t help but feel grateful towards them. That’s how we created the marauders. We all have nicknames to refer to our transformation. Sirius is called Padfoot, as his Animagus is a black dog. Peter is known as Wormtail, because he transforms himself into a rat. James is called Prongs to refer to a deer. As for me, my friends use to call me Moony. All the students know our nicknames but no one knows where they came from, beside Lily of curse.

 

I snap out of my thoughts, and try to focus on my book. I can’t help but steal glances at the girl sitting next to me. I don’t really know her as we never spoke together before. She seems to be pretty shy and very distant. She has long curled hair falling on her shoulders, partly covering her face. Her eyes are black as her hair. She really is beautiful.

 

I shake myself out of my daydream. I can’t afford to have feelings for someone. I’m a danger to every single person crossing my path. I need to keep as much people away from me as possible. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt someone because of my condition. I turn my attention to the window, seeing Hogwarts slowly appearing in the night. The castle looks magical in the dark with only the windows shining by deem light. As I continue to look at the edifice, I can’t help but smile. I already feel like home again.

 

The train soon comes to as stop and I follow the others outside. The students are already climbing on the different carriages leading them to the castle. I heard someone say that they are actually pulled by Thestral. They are mystical creatures looking like dark horses with huge wings on their back. They are invisible for most of us. Only a person who saw death is able to see them, which makes them sadly an outcast.

 

I follow Sirius, James, Peter and Lily to the last available carriage. We all climb in and I can’t help but look around to see if the girl sitting with us on the train also found a carriage. Unfortunately for me, she seems to have disappeared and I feel slightly disappointed. I shook my head, making my hair fall even more in front of my face, hiding my scars. Why do I care about her anyway?

“What is it Moony? Finally looking for a girlfriend?” Sirius teases, making the other laugh along with him.

“You are supposed to be the one constantly looking for girls.” I reply in an amused tone, smirking at him.

“You are totally right, my friend!” he says, laughing again.

 

Sirius continues to ramble about all the girls he already dated, until we finally reach the doors leading to the Great Hall. I enter the room with sparkles in my eyes. I simply can’t get use to the many candles flying around as well as the many stars shining in the magical sky above us. Everything seems to be made of gold and wood. The four long tables are already filled with students sitting around. In the far back, all the teachers are sitting on another long table with the director, Albus Dumbledor standing in front of them. We quickly sit down at the Gryffindor’s table, waiting for his speech and the feast to begin.

 

**April's POV:**

 

I’m totally drench when I finally reach the castle’s doors, only to be greeted by a grumpy looking cat and the not better-looking intendant right behind.

“You are late!” he states in a shriek voice.

“Thanks to state the obvious…” I mumble under my breath.

“What did you just say?” he quickly asks. I can see the anger already boiling in him and I decide not to push it.

“Nothing. Can I enter? Please? It’s still raining outside and I’m cold.”

He sends me a suspicious glare before turning around, leading me inside.

 

I let out a small sigh of happiness when I enter the hall, feeling the warmth surrounding me like a warm blanket. The smell of candles and wood instantly making me feel like home. Without another word, I start heading for the Gryffindor common room. I know the feast must be finished by now since it’s almost curfew.

 

I stop a few seconds to take my coat off and take a better look at myself. My entire closes are drench and covered in mud. My hear is a total mess, and I must certainly have a few leaves stuck in it. I sigh and continue to walk, remembering what actually brought me in this situation in the first place.

 

Earlier that evening, as the train reach the castle, I took a few more seconds to finish the last chapter of my book. What a mistake. I was obviously the last person exiting the train. I looked around me in the dark night, only to see the last carriage starting to head off. I didn’t hesitate and run after it, screaming for it to wait. Unfortunately for me, the last carriage was actually occupied by none other than the marauders. They were laughing so hard at some joke, that they didn’t hear me over their own noise. I slowed down, as I understood there was no point at chasing the carriage. I had to reach the castle by feet. I readjusted my bag on my shoulder and started heading for the castle, when I felt the drops starting to fall from the sky. “Just great!” I thought before starting to walk faster, to reach the school as fast as possible.

 

And now here I am, standing in front of the fat Lady, not knowing the password as I missed the festivities.

“No password, no entering” she says in a sing-song voice.

My drench clothes are sticking to my skin, making me feel cold again. I’m totally exhausted from the travel and I didn’t even eat, making me unable to hold back my temper anymore. I open my mouth to shout at her to let me in, when I hear footsteps coming closer behind me. I turn around to see a small boy probably in his second or third year, looking at me. He gives me a shy smile before looking me up and down. I probably look like a total mess because he clears his throat and quickly look away to say the password.

 

I quickly follow him inside, not bothering to give a second thought to his behavior. The common room is almost empty with only a few students sitting by the cracking fire. I continue to walk to the steps leading me to the girl’s dormitory, when I suddenly crash into someone.

“Sorry, my fault, I didn’t watch where I was going…” the person apologizes as I stumble backwards. I look up only to meet the brown and gold eyes from Remus Lupin.

 

We lock eyes for a brief second and a questioning frown make his way to his face, as he realizes the state I’m currently in. I don’t give him the time to ask any question, as I quickly pass by him to run up to the girl’s dormitory. The only thing I need right know is some shower and dry clothes.


	2. Plan the evil prank

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

“I hope Snivellus isn’t going to be such an ass this year or we’ll have to teach him a lesson again.” Sirius says.

“What are you already planning to do?” Peter asks in a voice full of excitement.

“I don’t know…. Hung him in the air by his feet maybe?” Sirius replies, making James and Peter start to laugh.

 

I don’t pay much attention to their little talk. Severus Snape or Snivellus as they like to call him is a boy from Slytherin. He’s a pretty shy guy with black hair who thinks that only pure blood wizards are worth using magic. Which really gets on James’ nerfs, because Lily comes from a muggle family. Sirius and him always use to ‘teach him a lesson’ as they said, when he gets too far.

 

Like I said, I don’t pay much attention to it and prefer to read my book. We are sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, eating breakfast before our first day of school really starts. Goblets of pumpkin juice as well as lots of food are spread across the table. Peter and I are sitting on one side, while James and Sirius are sitting on the other.

“Hey, Moony! Stop being such a bookworm and help us plan another prank.” James complains to me. Getting no reaction, he grabs my book from the other side of the table and throw it in his bag.

“Hey, I was actually reading that!” I say angrily at him while looking up for the first time since we arrive.

 

I don’t hear his reply as my attention is suddenly dragged to a certain person walking pass James. The girl from the train continues to walk until she reaches the other end of the table to finally sit down. Her hair is styled in a high ponytail, letting her long dark curly hair fall on her back. Her black eyes are searching the table for something decent to eat. She doesn’t look at us, totally ignoring our presence.

 

“I knew it! Moony finally has a love interest!” Sirius suddenly shouts, pointing an accusing finger at me. I look back at my friends with wide eyes. They are all looking back at me with a huge grin on their faces.

“Come on, it’s nothing.” I say, waving my hand dismissively, hoping they would drop the subject.

“Don’t play the fool. You were totally staring!” James ads in an excited voice.

“You should go and talk to her.” Peter advises seriously.

“What? No. Like I said, I’m not interested in anyone. Was the summer that long that you actually forget about my furry little problem?” I ask them, making them stop dead in their tease.

“You know, it’s not because you are… you know what… that you actually have to live a lonely life. Who knows? Maybe she’s going to accept you as you are.” Sirius states in a serious tone I didn’t even knew he had.

“He’s right. Just talk to her and you will see.” Peter smiles at me.

I smile back at all of them, feeling glad to have such amazing friends. James reaches up to pat my shoulder in an encouraging and friendly manner.

 

I steal a final glance her way and find out with horror that she’s looking at us, probably due to all the noise the guys were making. Fortunately for me, she’s too far away to hear anything they said. When her eyes land on me, I turn my attention towards my plate and let a few strands of hair fall on my face. It became a habit a long time ago.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**April’s POV:**

 

The first day of school went by as always. I went to several classes including Potion and Defense against the dark arts. I enjoy learning more and more about magic so, studying is kind of my thing. I’m not the cleverest student but I’m not the worst either. I didn’t spoke with the marauders since the train and I’m not intending to. As I said, I’m a lonely person and I’m not used to hang out with lots of people. They are only a few Gryffindor students that I talk to but I’m not sure if you can actually refer to them as friends.

 

I’m currently sitting against a tree not far away from the lake, doing some homework. The sun is shining and the air is still warm even for the late season, so I decided to enjoy what could be the last sunny day until the winter pops in. I’m so concentrated on my work, that I don’t even hear the footsteps approaching me, until I hear someone shouting.

 

I quickly look up to see none other than the marauders standing not far away from where I’m sitting. James and Sirius are both holding their wand in front of them, pointing at a boy with long black hair. I don’t understand what they are saying but I suddenly see the boy being lifted up in the air like a ragging doll.

 

My blood runs cold at the sight. Remus and Peter are both standing not so far away with an uncomfortable expression on their face. They are clearly disapproving their friends’ behavior but are too afraid to stand up and say something. Lily is nowhere to be seen. I suppose that only lefts me to go and try to rescue this poor boy.

 

Without any further hesitation, I smash my stuff on the ground and start to run towards the scene. I quickly take my own wand out, pointing it at James and Sirius.

“Expelliarmus!” I scream, sending their wand to fly off.

 

All the heads turn to me and I barely see the poor boy falling on the ground and running to the castle. I keep looking at James straight in the eyes as he approaches me with a confuse and slightly exasperate expression on his face.

“Why did you do this?” he asks me harshly as he finally reaches me, the other three following.

“The real question here is, why did you do this?” I reply, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“What do you mean? We’re speaking about Snivellus. He clearly deserved it.” Sirius says confused, clearly not understanding my sudden outburst.

“No one deserve to be bullied.” I state, sending them a death glare. I try my best to not punch them right there in the face. I’ve seen so many people being physically and mentally mishandled during the years I spend in the orphanage, that I just can’t stand it anymore.

 

“Come on, don’t be such a killjoy! We were just joking around” Sirius says in his signature seducing voice, putting his hand on my shoulder.

Oh, what a mistake! My anger finally gets the best of me and in a matter of second I harshly shove off his hand and slap him.

 

My eyes grow wide as I realize what I just did. I cover my mouth with my left hand in horror. I’m not known as a violent person. This is probably the first time I ever slapped someone.

“I’m so sorry” I whisper, my face turning red from embarrassment.

The four boys just stand there, watching me in shock, trying to process what just happened.

 

I don’t give them the time to react, as I suddenly turn around and run to the castle as fast as I can, not even bothering to take back my stuff, still lying under the tree. I almost reach the doors as I hear someone shouting at me.

“You’re going to pay for this!” I continue to run, ignoring the warning, only slowing down as I reach the girls dormitory.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

Later that evening, we are sitting on the dining table, the event form earlier still playing in my mind. The girl’s reaction really baffled me. By the look on her face, she was also surprised by her own action. It was the first time someone decided to stand up against the marauders, since Lily.

 

Speaking of her, she just enters the Great Hall with some books in her hands. She sees us and start to walk in our direction before letting herself fall on the bench right beside James.

“Hey guys! What’s up?” she asks in a happy voice, while grabbing for something to eat.

“Do you remember the girl from the train?” Peter ask her.

She just nods, her mouth already full of food.

“Well… let’s just say that she slapped Sirius right in the face a few hours ago.” He informs her.

 

Lily just shrug before saying “He probably deserved it”.

“Hey!” Sirius complains, looking at her with an offended expression.

Everyone starts to laugh at that.

 

“Do you know something about her?” I ask the red-haired girl, once the laughs have died out.

“Not that much…” she answers, thinking about the few information she has. “I know her name is April Watson. She was abandoned by her parents at birth and was raised in an orphanage. She’s pretty lonely so, no one really knows much about her.” She concludes.

 

I nod at her, thanking her for the few information she shared with me. This girl is getting more and more intriguing. I quickly take a look around the room to find her but she seems to have skip dinner. She’s surely trying to avoid bumping into us after what just happened.

 

“Why are you asking?” Lily suddenly asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I meet her curious green eyes and I can’t seem to find any appropriate answer to her question. She’s right, why am I even asking this?

“Because our Moony has a crush on her.” Sirius respond in an uninterested tone, like he just spoke about the weather.

“How many times do I have to repeat that I don’t?” I reply, feeling annoyed by their stubbornness on the matter.

Fortunately for me, Lily isn’t buying it.

 

“You’re not planning on pranking her, are you?” she suddenly asks, narrowing her eyes at James.

“I will never do such a thing, my love” he declares, while pouting one hand on his heart, and the other on her shoulder.

“Stop calling me that!” She shouts at him angrily, while shoving his hand off her.

 

I turn my attention back to my plate, ignoring their little argument. I really hope the guys are going to leave her alone. But knowing James, he’s not going to let this slide so easily. The marauders’ reputation is at stake. I can only imagine what Sirius and James could plane as a revenge.

 

Feeling my stomach tightening at the bare thought, I just play with the food on my plate, losing my appetite.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**April’s POV:**

 

I’m so glad I have bought some candies and chocolate before I headed for the Platform 9/34 two days ago. It allowed me to skip dinner yesterday, as well as the breakfast. Today, I’m about to start my second day of school. I tried to avoid the marauders as best as I could but now is time to go to my lesson. Why do we have to be in the same house?!

 

I sigh before picking up my books. I sneak out of the girls’ dormitory to check the area. The marauders aren’t in the common room. Luck seems to be on my side today.

 

I finally reach the classroom just in time. I spot James and Sirius sitting in the back and I decide to take the only chair left on the other side of the room. I can’t focus on what our charm teacher is speaking about. I steal small glances at the two boys, speaking with each other animatedly. After almost an hour, the finally high five and turn to look at me with a devilish smile on their face.

 

I mentally self-palm. What did I do? Who can I be such an idiot to interfere into their business? My whole body begins to tense. Something bad is going to happened to me and I really don’t know what or when but I know I’m not going to like it, at all.


	3. The bite

 

**April's POV:**

 

The second day of school goes by without any incident, but I still feel like a hunted prey. I know they can take their revenge by any moment. For now, I’m standing in the courtyard speaking with Amy. We share the same dormitory and we spend some time together now and then. She’s a very extrovert girl and I like her company. She always tells me a lot about her life and her pretty complicated relationships and I like to just listen to her.

 

It’s almost diner time, but a lot of students are still standing outside to take some fresh air.

“It’s starting to get cold. Do you want to go inside to have something warm to eat?” I finally ask Amy.

“Yeah, sure!” she replies with her signature ecstatic smile.

 

I make my way to the castle’s doors with Amy following behind. Just as I put the first step inside, I suddenly feel something cold and wet smash on my entire body, making me scream in surprise. For a second I just stand there, totally drench. It takes me a few more seconds to realize what just happened. An entire bucket of ice and water has just been emptied above me.

 

I turn around to face the huge noise that started right after that. Images of my past are coming back to the surface, as I stare at the people laughing while pointing their fingers at me. Even Amy puts her hand in front of her mouth to suppress a laugh.

 

My vision becomes blurry as I stand there frozen in shock. The laughs are echoing in my head. A very old scar has just been open again and I can’t stand the pain. It seems that I just can’t find my way out of this nightmare. The humiliation has far more consequences for me then the marauders could have guess.

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

I make my way through the crowd, worried about the prank James and Sirius just made. I finally reach my two friends to see what the students are all laughing about. April is standing in the doorframe, completely drench. Small ice cubes are still entangled in her hair. She’s watching wide eyes at the people standing in front of her. Her expression is blank as a statue except her eyes who keeps flickering to each face.

 

She suddenly looks at me and my heart sink into my stomach from how broken she seems to be. I can see the tears slowly making their way to her beautiful eyes before she starts to run away in the direction of the dark lake, pushing the still laughing students aside.

 

I scream out her name to make her stop but she doesn’t seem to hear me or she simply doesn’t want to. I’m not even sure if she knows my name so, why would she listen to me?

 

I decide to chase after her but I quickly come to a stop, as James and Sirius suddenly appears in front of me, blocking my path.

“Are you out of your mind? How could you make fun of her like that?” I ask them angrily.

“Oh, come on Moony, we went very soft on her!” James tries to justify himself.

“That’s not the point! You humiliated her in front of so many people!” I continue to shout. “I need to go and find her. Someone needs to apologize for your childish behavior.” I state in a more calmly voice.

 

I walk into the direction she just left again but Sirius grabs my arm to hold me back and I try shove his hand off, without any success.

“Wait! You cannot go know. The apologize can wait until tomorrow. It’s starting to get dark and remember what time of the month we are. We need to head to the Shrieking Shack.” He tells me, worry clear in his voice.

 

I let out a small sigh, looking at the sky. Sirius is right, it’s starting to get dark and my bones are already hurting. I can feel that the transformation is close to begin. I need to lock myself in the haunted cabin, in order to keep the people safe from the monster I’m about to let out. I look one last time to the direction April just left, feeling guilt clench on to my heart. I promise myself that I would talk to her tomorrow.

 

I shake myself out of my thoughts to follow my three best friends out of the castle.

 

 **April’s POV** :

 

I don’t stop, not even bothering to slow down as a person shouts my name. I let myself fall by a nearby tree in front of the lake. I bring my legs up to my chest and burry my face into my clenched arms to let the tears fall.

 

When you grow up in an orphanage, as a tiny and shy girl, you should get used to be humiliated. Trues is, this wasn’t the first time someone pranked me. That’s probably why I try to avoid people so much. I prefer to be ignored than to be bullied again, like I use to be back then. If someone doesn’t even register your bare existence, they can’t take advantage of your weakness.

 

I sit there for almost an hour before the cold becomes too hard to bare. I wipe the last tears from my eyes before looking at the sky above. I take a few more minutes to admire the sight. The full moon is shining in the dark, sending beautiful reflections in the lake.

 

Suddenly, a loud scream of pain echoes through the forest. I turn my head in that direction, only to realize that I’m actually sitting at the border of the haunted forest. The horrible noise can be heard again, making my entire body shiver. I can’t even see if the scream is human or not. I stand up and narrow my eyes to see if I can discern something between the huge trees and the light blizzard. I take a deep breath before heading for the spot, where I thought I heard the noise.

 

“Hello? Is someone there?” I ask as I walk deeper in the haunted forest. Everything around me has become stand still. Even the wind isn’t blowing anymore. The abnormal silence is making me shiver. I really have a bad feeling about this, but I need to make sure that no one’s hurt.

 

I almost reach the tree where I thought I heard the noise. The tree leaves under my feet and my heavy breath are the only thing breaking this dead silence. I finally come to a stop. I narrow my eyes to try and see in the dark night. The trees are so huge and the moonlight so deem behind the clouds that I barely see anything. I slowly kneel to what seems like a body lying on the dirty ground. I reach up to touch it and let out a shaky sigh of relieve as I feel the smooth fur of a deer.

 

I start to laugh as my body begins to relax. I’m such a fool. Did I really think that I would find a dead person in the forest? I’m in Hogwarts for goodness’s sake. Nothing bad can happened.

 

Just as I’m about to stand up, I notice how much blood is actually spread across the ground. I take my wand out of my pocket to cast a small light. My eyes go wide as I contemplate the carnage. The animal’s head has been totally ripped apart. Only the bones and small pieces of moisty flesh are left. The rest of the body looks like it has been lacerated. Pieces of organs are spread all around the dead animal. I feel myself getting sick at the bare sight and quickly look away from the dead animal.

 

Realization starts to quick in as I stare in the dark haunted forest. I hold my breath as I imagine what kind of creature could actually do such a thing. I quickly turn off the light at the end of my wand. I stand up and slowly start to walk backwards, looking around me like a hunted animal. My breath becomes shaky and I’m struggling not to panic.

 

A branch suddenly breaks under my feet. The small noise sounds like a hurricane in this still dead silence, making me come to a stop. I squeeze my eyes shot, praying to just be back in the castle already. Bats are flying off the closest tree, and I can’t help but jump at the sudden noise.

 

That’s when I hear a small growl behind me. I turn around ever so slowly, only to be met with a pair of green eyes shining in the dark. The creature makes a small move towards me but I still don’t budge. I continue to look at these eyes, frozen like a statue.

 

Out of the blue, the moonlight seems to find his way through the huge trees. I’m finally able to see the creature standing a few feet away from me, and my eyes grow wide in realization. The beast looks like a giant dog. His very thin body is covered in grey fur. His legs are extremely long and his paws as big as my entire head. I can see the sharp claws and teeth gleaming in the deem light.

 

I take a step back, as the creature suddenly rise his head to the sky to let out a terrifying yowl. Standing in front of me is a werewolf.

 

Forgetting all about magic, I turn around and start running for dear life. My brain feels blank and I can’t think of something else than running as fast as I can. Tears are forming in my eyes, blurring my vision. I stumble against the tree root but nothing can stop me from my escape.

 

I can hear the growls behind me getting closer and closer. The branches are breaking one by one under the beast’s weight. I’m struggling to breath and I feel more exhausted by every passing second. I won’t be able to hold on much longer.

 

Out of a sudden, my eyes land on what seems like a small lair on the bottom of a large tree. This is my only chance to make it through this. I don’t even know if the lair is big enough for me but there is no time to figure it out. I can almost feel the werewolf’s breath on my neck. I tap into my last resources to sprint and slide directly in the tiny entrance.

 

Fortunately for me, the tunnel is long enough to hide me entirely. I crawl as far as possible, until I reach the end of the small lair. I turn around to see the werewolf scratching the tree roots to try and get in. I close my eyes and crawl into a ball, sending a pray to all the possible gods to save me from this nightmare. My breath is heavy and I can feel splinters lacing my face as the beast continues to scratch the tree.

 

Remembering that I’m actually a wizard, I try to reach for my wand but my pocket seems empty. I curse under my breath. I must have lost it during the run.

 

After what seems like hours to me, the werewolf finally gives up. I continue to stand still, holding my breath. I try and listen to my surrounding. The werewolf must have found another prey. I let out a sigh of relieve. I stay here a few more minutes to calm myself a little bit but the lair is moisty and I quickly feel cold.

 

I can’t sit here any longer. I need to head back to the castle, it’s the only place I feel safe. Gathering all the courage that brought me into the Gryffindor’s house, I slowly pop my head out of the lair. It’s still dark outside but the forest seems to be peaceful again. Or let’s just say as peaceful as a haunted forest can be. I narrow my eyes and wait a few more seconds but nothing seems to move in the blizzard. This is my chance. I crawl out of the small tunnel and get on my feet. I continue to look around me, still feeling like someone is watching me. I take a few steps back in the direction I think Hogwarts could be, when I suddenly hear footsteps right behind me.

 

My blood runs cold again and my entire body shivers out of fear. I turn around and see those same gruesome green eyes I desperately tried to escape. I don’t even have the time to blink before a sharp pain emanates from my left arm, making me scream out in pure suffer.


	4. The denial

 

**April's POV:**

 

I don’t know how much time had passed since the attack. I’m still lying on the ground in the middle of the forest. I’ve lost conscious several times already. I’m too weak to scream for help. The sun is rising so I guess we must be in the early morning.

 

The simple action of breathing seems to be insurmountable. The pain emanating from my arm is unbearable. It feels like a thousand of little scissor are continually slicing the flesh. My eyes are full of tears but I don’t even have the strength to let them fall. I just want this endless suffer to end.

 

Greeting my teeth, I turn my head ever so slightly to the left, whining in pain. I have to take a look at my injured arm. What I see is even worst then I thought. The entire flesh has been almost entirely ripped, leaving some fraction of bones apparent. The blood has covered my clothes and the entire area on the ground. I don’t know how I can still be alive.

 

My mind is drifting off again and I close my eyes. I feel like I’m not going to wake up this time. I’ve already lost to much blood and my body feels so cold. The only thing I hear before passing out is the sound of horse hooves in the distance.

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

I wake up in the messy room of the Shrieking Shack. I’m lying naked on the woodened floor of the small cabin. I can hear Padfoot, Wormtail and Prong laughing on the other side of the door. I wince in pain as soon as I try to get up. My friends’ presence is helping me control the werewolf’s actions, but it doesn’t help with the pain you constantly feel in your bones the next morning, due to the transformation. At least, I don’t have scratches or worth injuries anymore. I grab the pile of closes that I always keep there for the morning after and quickly get dressed. I open the door and barely crash into my friends.

 

“Look who’s awake!” Sirius exclaims, sending me a bright smile. “You look a little bit pale but that’s a part of your charm” he teases, with a wink. I punch him in the shoulder and we all begins to laugh as we finally exit the Shrieking Shack.

 

As we make our way to the castle, we suddenly see an owl flying towards us. She drops a small later on the grass just in front of our feet. Prong grabs it before reading it.

“What does it say?” Wormtail asks, out of curiosity.

“McGonagall wants to see us in her office. Right now.” He answers, still looking at the letter.

“Does she explain why?” I nervously want to know.

“No, let’s find out” James replies, walking in the direction of McGonagall’s office.

 

The three of us follow, without another word. I must confess that I’m slightly nervous. Does it have something to do with James and Sirius’ prank? Or worth, did I attack or did something during the last night? No, my friends would have told me.

 

My mind is running wild as we finally reach the right door. Padfoot knocks before pushing the door open. McGonagall is sitting on her desk, looking at us as we enter the room. She is the headmaster of the Gryffindor house. Her slightly grey hair is always styled in a very strict manner, making her look elegant and confident. Her piercing green eyes are looking at us above the tiny glasses on her nose, like she tries to read our soul.

 

She raises her wand in front of her to make four chairs appear behind us.

“Please, take a sit” she orders us and we oblige.

“Do you have any idea, why I convened you all in my office?”

We all stay silent as we really have no idea what brought us here.

 

“Well, there has been a terrible accident last night.” McGonagall informs us, getting up to stand in front of us. “Mrs Watson has been attacked. We don’t even know the exact reason why she went outside of the castle so late…” I see Sirius and James sharing a guilty and panicked look “but the fact is that she’s been attacked and then bitten by a werewolf.” She confesses.

 

Her words echo like a bomb in the now deadly silent room. I grab the armchairs, making my fingers go white. I feel like I’ve just been stabbed. I can’t breathe anymore, as I slowly realize what I did. How can I ever live with myself after that?

 

“Calm down Moony. We were with you the entire night. You didn’t leave the Shrieking Shack.” Sirius tells me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“There are a lot of strange creatures in the haunted forest but you definitely weren’t one of them.” Peter ads.

My body starts to relax and I let out a breath I don’t even realized I was holding. I smile thankfully to my friends.

 

“Mr Black and Mr Pettigrow are right. Whoever attacked her was already in the forest.” Professor McGonagall confirms. I simply nod and wait for her to continue. “She was found by the centaurs this morning, already bleeding to death. A few more minutes and it would be too late to save her. Fortunately, she seems to be in a stable state now. Mrs Pomfrey is taking care of her.”

She stops her explanation a few seconds, giving us time to swallow the news.

 

“I think you know now why I asked you to come. What happened to Mrs Watson is a terrible accident. Her life will never be the same again. She’s going to need all the help she can get to find her way through this.” McGonagall states, with a painful expression on her face. “Mr Lupin, you know how to handle all of this. That’s why I’m asking you to take care of her.” She says, looking at me. She doesn’t give me the time to process as she turns her attention towards my friends. “As for you, since you are being such a good help to Mr Lupin, I would appreciate that you continue your work with Mrs Watson.” We all look at her wide eyes.

 

“Oh, don’t look so surprise. Of course, I know what you did to stay with Mr Lupin on the full moon.” She says, looking at them over her tiny glasses with a small smile. She almost looks proud. “So, can I trust you on this?” she finally asks, looking at us with her piercing eyes.

 

We all just nod in agreement, still trying to understand what’s happening.

“Good, that’s going to be all, for now. Your first class begins in five minutes. You better not be late.” She states sitting back on her desk and turning her attention back to the papers lying on her desk. The four of us stand up and leave the room without another word.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

The day flow by in a blur. I can’t concentrate on anything else than the news McGonagall told us that morning. The sun is beginning to set behind the trees of the haunted forest. I’m currently leaning alone against the huge distorted bridge outside of the castle. The wind is slightly blowing and I’m looking at the beautiful landscape in front of me, trying to find a solution to all this mess.

 

I know that I have to go to the medical bay to speak with April. But the fact is that I’m scared. I know fully well what she’s going through. What I don’t know is how she’s going to react. How am I supposed to be comfort her? There isn’t any word or any action that could ever make it less horrible. Some part of me wants to help her, be there for her on such a terrible time. But the other part of me is being realistic. I’ve been bitten so many years before and I still can’t accept the monster I’ve become.

 

Besides, there is that guilt, slowly spreading in my chest. We were the one who make her run outside of the castle that night. I should have been there to interfere. I shouldn’t have let James and Sirius play this prank on her.

 

I sigh and run my hand through my hair for what seems the thousand time today. There is too much to process and my mind is unbearably confused. I take a deep breath before turning around, walking in the direction of the medical bay.

 

I play with my fingers out of nervousness as I try to contain the fear that rises in me, as I try to prepare myself of what’s about to happened once I get there.

 

But what really terrifies me is that despite the atrocity of the situation, I can’t help but feel a tiny bit of hope by the thought that I’m not alone anymore.

 

**April’s POV:**

 

I slept most of the day. Mrs Pomfrey fixed the few scratches on my face but the injury on my arm couldn’t be healed by a simple potion. My arm is bandaged and the nurse needs to change it every two hours. Thanks to magic, she can do it in less than a minute, only waving her wand in front of her to clean my wound. The pain is still there but at least it’s most bearable.

 

I take a look at the clock hanging on the wall. The dinner must have already been served in the Great hall. Mrs Pomfrey tried to make me eat a few times but I feel like my stomach is not going to support more than a few bites of bred, to her biggest frustration.

 

What I really need is a warm bath. The only thing the nurse cleaned up are my wounds. For the rest, I’m still covered in mud and dirt. I decide to fix this, now then I’m feeling a little bit better. I stand up with the help of my right arm and try to move as slowly as I can. After what feels like an eternity, I finally reach the small bathroom next to the medical room. The consequences of the bite are affecting my entire body, making it hard for me to walk.

 

I turn the fittings on and the bath is suddenly filled with warm water. I sigh in relief as my body immediately starts to relax at the contact.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

It takes me almost an hour to clean myself up, due to my injured arm. I try to think about what happened the night before. I close my eyes and I see the werewolf in front of me. I keep myself from panicking and quickly open them again. My body is shaking as the same fear as yesterday is spreading in my veins. This can’t be possible. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it wasn’t a werewolf. I try to convince myself but deep down I know the truth. I want to cry, I want to scream, but it’s like something is locking my emotions inside of me, leaving only emptiness.

 

It takes me a few more minutes to dry and put a new medical robe on, that I found in a closet. I watch into the mirror to evaluate the damages. My skin is very pale, almost transparent. My eyes are slightly red and there are dark circles under them. My wet hair is falling flat on each sides of my face. The scratches are gone but it doesn’t help with the fact that I look like a living dead. All I can see is this reflection is the increasing void feeling my soul.

 

I decide to walk out of the bathroom but I suddenly need to lean against the wall to stop me from falling on the ground. I struggle to breath as I feel the exhaustion increasing. My head is spinning and my grip on the wall tightens as I try to stay conscious.

 

I take deep breaths to calm down. I try to walk through the bathroom door but I need to stop against the doorframe again, hissing in pain and exhaustion. I look into the medical room for Mrs. Pomfrey but she seems to have disappeared. My eyes suddenly stop on someone sitting on my bed. I frown confused as I recognize Remus Lupin.

 

He must have feel my staring as he suddenly looks in my direction. We lock eyes and I can’t help but look away, shame overwhelming me. I don’t want anybody to see me in such a state.

 

“Do you need help?” he asks while standing up to walk towards me. He stretches out his arms but suddenly takes a step back nervously, like he’s wondering if he can actually go as far as touching me.

“No, I don’t.” I tell him in a cold voice, still leaning on the doorframe.

 

My body is weak and my legs are shaking, struggling to support me. I have to close my eyes for a few seconds to not wince in pain. My breathing becomes heavy and it’s killing me to let him see me this way.

“Please, let me help you” he insists in a calm and comforting voice.

 

He reaches out his hand for me to hold. I look at it suspiciously, not knowing if I should take it or not. I then turn my attention to his face. The scars seem to be more visible than usual, as he looks a little pale. His hair is slightly messy, like he just runs his fingers in it several times. The few straight are still falling on his face, partly hiding his kind brown-gold eyes. I can’t read any scorn in them, only kindness and concern, which makes me believe that he genuinely wants to help.

 

My entire body is feeling weaker by every passing second. I need to accept the idea that I won’t be able to reach my bed alone. I turn my attention back to his outstretch hand, before finally grabbing it.

 

He puts his arm around my waist to support me and I can feel a sort of warm spreading in my chest and my checks grow red. I keep my head down in order to hide my embarrassment. We finally reach my bed and he helps me to lay down. He then grabs a nearby chair to sit right next to my bed.

 

I don’t say anything, I just wait for him to break the heavy silence. He plays nervously with his fingers for a few more seconds before clearing his throat.

“Look, I don’t really know who to handle this situation.” He begins, avoiding eye contact. “But let’s start with the beginning”

 

I listen to him wide eyes as he explains the fact that he’s actually a werewolf. He has been bitten several years ago. He tells me his entire story and I can’t believe what I’m just hearing. I know Remus Lupin was the most mysterious marauder but I never thought the secret around him was actually so huge. He continues to explain the different nicknames and their real meaning. His tales finally comes to an end and I take some time to process.

 

I think about all the things he just told me and everything seems to make perfect sense. A peaceful silence falls between us. Remus looks at me, waiting for my reaction.

“Why are you telling me all this?” I suddenly ask him.

“Because, I know what you are going through and I want to help you” he confesses nervously.

“So…. You know how to cure this?” I ask him, hope clear in my voice.

 

He frowns at me, a look of utter confusion plastered on his face.

“What do you mean, cure this?” he questions.

“You know like giving me a potion or knowing a charm that will fix me. Making me fully human again.” I answer, like it’s the most obvious thing in the word.

 

He looks directly into my eyes, searching for something. He seems to find his real answer as I see his expression change. The confusion has been replaced by a deep sadness.

“There is no cure.” He states in a whisper, avoiding my eyes again.

“Don’t say that! There must be something! I’m not going to be a freaking monster for the rest of my life!!” I shout at him, letting all my frustration and anger out.

He doesn’t say anything and continues to keep his head and his shoulders down.

 

“I don’t need your help, just go and leave me alone.” I finally say in a blank tone, looking at the celling.

“Look, I know how difficult it is to process all this...” he tries again, but this time I don’t let him finish his sentence.

“I said leave me alone!” I shout at him in a shaky voice. Tears are finding their way to my eyes and I struggle to keep them at bay.

He finally looks up to me, shocked by my sudden outburst. I see the hurt in his eyes making me regret my action. But I don’t have the time to apologize as he stands up and leave the room.

 

I can’t hold back the tears anymore as I’m lying here alone in the empty medical room. I try to calm myself by taking a deep breath. I just couldn’t live with myself, knowing I would be a beast for the rest of my life. So, I make a promise to myself to try and find a cure.

 

There must be a way out of this hell and I’m going to find it.


	5. The first transformation

 

**April’s POV:**

 

“There must be something…” I mumble, turning the pages of my book over and over again. I’m sitting in the library for weeks now. I spend my entire free time desperately searching for a cure. Tonight, is a full moon and I still didn’t find anything. I look at the amount of papers spread across the table. I abruptly close my book and let out a deep sigh, running my hands through my hear.

 

“The exams are only in a couple of months. There is still a lot of time left to study, you know.” I turn around to see Lily looking at me with a smirk. She has some books and papers in hand. Her long red hair is almost reaching her hips. Her green eyes are sparkling like always.

 

“What are you working on? Maybe I can help?” she kindly asks, while sitting next to me.

“No, it’s okay, thanks. I just have some trouble with my DADA homework but nothing I can’t fix.” I quickly answer, giving her my best fake smile.

 

Lily and I became closer since the incident. I don’t know if the marauders or McGonagall informed her about what happened, but at least she doesn’t speak about it. We just share some conversations here and then. Most of the time in the girl’s dormitory or at the library, when the marauders aren’t around.

 

Truth is, I try to avoid them as much as I can. I’m still not ready to face the upcoming situation. They tried to talk to me a few times after school or even in the common room. But I’ve always found a way to disappear or at least, pretend to be in a hurry to escape the conversation. Remus was the most persistent. He doesn’t seem mad at me for my previous behaviour, which only make me feel worth. I know that I don’t deserve his forgiveness and it makes me uncomfortable to know that he thinks I do. The hurt in his eyes every time I shove him away somehow fills my heart with sadness. He obviously is the first person who really seems to notice me and maybe even care? But I don’t have a choice. He wants to prevent me from searching a cure, or that’s currently the only thing giving me a reason to go on.

 

I snap out of my thoughts by two fingers being snapped in front of my face.

“April? Are you alright?” Lily asks me, concern clear in her voice.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine” I send her a reassuring smile, before starting to pick up the papers lying on the desk. “I think I’m going to practice some charms before dinner.” I tell her, standing up. “See you later” I call at her, before leaving the room.

 

I see the frown on Lily’s face as I leave the library but I decide not to think about it right know. I’m going to skip dinner to keep my mind off of the upcoming night. I didn’t lie to her when I said I was going to practice some charms. There is a special room where the students can go to practice charms, on the other end of the corridor.

 

I open the door to take a quick look inside. The room is empty. Perfect! I slide inside and put the papers and books on a nearby chair. I take out my wand. Sadly, it’s not really my wand since I lost it in the haunted forest. The school was kind enough to lend me another one for the rest of the year. I let out a small sigh. It just doesn’t feel the same but I guess I have to make the best of it.

 

I raise my wand and close my eyes. The magical charms are slowly illuminating the room in thousands of different colours. I let the magic spread all around me, not thinking about anything else.

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

“You still haven’t talk to her yet?” Sirius asks, his voice full of reproach.

 

I’m sitting with James, Peter, Sirius and Lily by the fire in the common room. April didn’t show up for dinner so I still didn’t talk to her about how we’re supposed to proceed tonight.

“She seemed pretty lost in her thoughts as I spoke to her earlier” Lily says, while sitting between James and me on the couch. “I feel so sorry for what happens to her, and I don’t know how to help her.” She confesses in a sad voice, looking at her intertwined hands.

 

James puts a comforting arm around her shoulders and she doesn’t protest for once. I look at Sirius and Peter, sitting on two different couches in front of us. We all look worried as we all want to help her but don’t know how.

 

I tried to talk to her during the past weeks but she seems to always find an excuse to disappear. It hurts me to see her like this. Denial is probably the worst reaction I can think about. It makes it even harder to realize the truth once you are confronted to it. Which is going to happened tonight on the full moon. So, I decided to give her space during the last days. I didn’t try to talk to her but I’m starting to regret my decision.

 

“I need to go and find her, it’s almost dark outside” I state, while getting up.

“Wait, we are going to come with you. We can brief as we walk to the Shrieking Shack” Peter proposes.

“Wormtail is right, let’s go.” James says before also getting up. The other two follows and we exit the common room, leaving Lily behind with a worried expression on her face.

 

“Wait, how do we know where to find her?” Sirius suddenly asks, as we find ourselves in front of the stairs.

“Lily told me she wanted to practice some charms, so I guess she must be in the room near the library” I answer and they all nod before heading for the right direction.

 

Once we reach it, James doesn’t even bother to knock before entering the room. We all come to a stop as we look at the scene in front of us. April is moving her wand, sending lights all around the room like a magical dance.

 

My eyes are immediately dragged to her and it seems like I can’t look away anymore. Her eyes are close as she concentrates on the charms. The lights are illuminating her skin in thousands of different lights. Her curly brown hairs are falling on her back and slowly blowing as the charms fly around her. The looks so peaceful. I can feel my heartbeat increase in my chest as I continue to look at her.

 

“Wow! You already know how to make a Patronus appear?” Peter suddenly asks, his mouth open in awe. That’s when I suddenly see the wolf made of blue light running through the room.

 

I snap out of my daydream and meet Sirius’ amused gaze. He smirks at me knowingly before sending me a wink. I quickly let the strands of hears cover my face to hide my embarrassment at being caught while staring at her.

 

She opens her eyes and jump slightly out of surprise. She turns around to look towards us and the lights around her fades away. Her expression becomes totally blank as soon as she recognizes us. Her eyes stop on Peter before she finally replies.

“Yes, I do.”

 

She then puts her wand back in her pocket, without another word.

“We came to bring you to the Shrieking Shack with us. It’s a full moon tonight.” Sirius explains.

“Let me just bring all these papers back in the dormitory. Meet you in the Hall in 5 minutes.” She says, while picking up the papers lying on the chair.

“Sure, but you better hurry. We don’t have much time left.” James informs her. She simply nods in understanding before leaving the room.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Exactly 5 minutes later we are all standing in the hall. Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail, April and me.

“Okay, we better go.” Sirius says before walking out of the castle followed by James and Peter. I stay a few steps behind with April.

 

We all stay silent during the entire walk. After only a few minutes, we reach the Whomping Willow. The branches of the tree are already punching the ground with a terrible force. Sirius simply takes his wand out and the tree immediately comes to a stop, allowing us to enter a small tunnel at his base.

 

I look at April to see that she actually looks pretty surprised.

“I would never have guessed that’s this tree actually has a purpose.” She says with her mouth wide open as we enter the small tunnel. She looks around like a kid discovering a brand-new world and it makes me laugh lightly.

She immediately turns around to send me a suspicious glare.

“What are you laughing about?”

“Nothing, sorry. Better watch out, the ceiling is really low.” I warn her, in order to change the subject.

 

She looks at me suspiciously one last time before turning around again. I follow her until we finally reach the small hall of the Shrieking Shake. We all come to a stop to let April look around her. Her eyes are scanning the area, from the dusty ground to the broken steps.

“It’s not a castle but it’s pretty convenient for what we need it for.” Peter tells her, waving around with his hand.

 

She nods before following us upstairs. James push the door open, revealing a small bedroom. Everything is as dusty, old and broken as the hall.

“We are going to wait for you downstairs, Moony. See you tomorrow April” Sirius waves at her before leaving the room with the others close behind.

 

April turns her attention towards me, as soon as the door slams shut.

“You are not going to stay with me?” she asks, her eyes growing wide in realization.

“I’m afraid not. I mean, we are both werewolves and I don’t know what could happened if we were to spend the entire night in this small room.” I confess, my heart filled with sadness as I see he disappointment in her eyes.

 

She nods in understanding before walking closer to the window. She suddenly stumbles on something on the ground, making a small clinging noise. She kneels to pick up a huge metallic chain.

“What is that for?” she asks in a blank tone.

I let out a sigh before walking towards her and take the chains out of her hands.

“Dumbledore thinks it’s for the best. The first transformation can be pretty bad and you could hurt yourself to death. These magical chains are supposed to avoid it.” I tell her, with a voice full of sadness. It hurts my soul to enchained someone like a terrible beast.

 

She continues to stare at the four cuffs before sitting on the ground and showing me her wrists. Her face is emotionless, which makes it even harder for me. I put the cuffs around her wrists and her ankles and I swear that something in my soul just broke at this exact moment. Seeing her sitting on the floor with these chains, like a monster. Our eyes lock and we stare at each other for a few seconds before she looks away. She tries to hide it but I saw the tears falling on her cheeks. I want to say something to comfort her, but nothing I would say could make this situation less horrible.

 

I take a deep breath before turning around. I steal one last glance at her before closing the door. I just have the time to enter the second room, where my friends are waiting for me in their animalistic form before I hear a piercing scream coming from upstairs. My first instinct is to run out of the room to help her but Padfoot immediately blocks the path. I want to jut shove him off but I suddenly feels the unbearable pain in my bones. My entire body begins to grow and gets covered in fur, ripping my clothes apart. Long claws are replacing my fingernails and my sharp teeth are glistening in the moonlight. Before I know it, my mind goes blank as the transformation ends.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

I wake up naked on the ground again. I need some minutes to clear my mind. The memories of yesterday strikes me and I quickly get up, ignoring the pain I still feel in my bones. It takes me a few seconds to get dressed, before I slam the door open, revealing my friends.

“How is she?” I abruptly ask them.

“We don’t know, we thought it would be better if you take care of her, since it’s her first transformation.” James tells me.

 

I don’t wait for any other answer as I run upstairs. I push the door open and see April lying naked on the floor. I quickly grab the sheets to cover her body. I kneel right next to her as I begin to study her broken form. Her eyes are close and her entire body shakes. She seems partly unconscious but tears are still falling on her face. She lets out some whimpers and I put my hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Her face has some scratches but despise that, she seems to have survive the night without any serious injuries. I slowly run my fingers on her tangled hair to stop her crying.

 

As soon as the shaking stops, I take out my wand to open up the cuffs on her wrists and ankles, revealing red marks. I gently rub my fingers on her injured wrist to make sure there aren’t broken.

 

I suddenly hear footsteps approaching. Peter, James and Sirius carefully enter the room.

“We need to take her to the medical bay.” I tell them and they all just nod in agreement, while looking at April’s unconscious body on the floor.

 

I slowly lift her up in my arms, ignoring the stinging pain from my own transformation. The others turn around and exit the room, quick to head for the medical room. I’m just about to follow them as I suddenly feel two hands holding onto me. I look down at April to see that she just grabbed my sweater as if she’s holding on to me for dear life, her eyes still closed.

 

I hold her a little closer to me and press a light kiss on her forehead. “Everything is going to be okay” I whisper, before following the other out of the Shrieking Shake.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**April’s POV:**

 

When I wake up, I find myself in the medical bay again. I look at the clock and my eyes grow wide. I slept the entire day again. My head is aching and I don’t remember anything since we reached the Shrieking Shake. A memory of someone holding me and bringing me to the medical room is stuck inside of my brain but I’m not sure if I wasn’t dreaming.

 

I move my arms and fingers before doing the same with my legs and feet. Nothing is hurting me and I only see some scratches here and there but nothing I should be concerned about. I hear footsteps coming from the corridor before seeing Mrs Pomfrey entering the room.

“Ah, good, you’re awake” she says as she begins to check something on the papers she’s holding. “I think you did well for a first full moon. Your stat seems stable. Do you feel any pain in particular?” she asks.

“No, besides my headache, everything seems fine” I assure her.

“Great. You can leave whenever you feel ready.” She informs me, sending me a small smile before leaving the room again.

 

I pick up the few belongings lying on the nearby bedside table before exiting the room. I walk along the empty hallways before stopping in front of the girl’s restroom. Water is slowly flowing on the ground. The taps must be broken again. I look at my reflection and I see the small scars covering my face. I quickly look away and start to run.

 

I still can’t believe what happened to me. I feel like I’m floating in some sort of terrible nightmare. Maybe this isn’t even real, maybe this is all in my head. I must be in some sort of coma or something. I know that I’m trying desperately to deny the truth but I can’t face the situation. Not yet.

 

I finally reach the common room and look around. Everyone must be asleep because the room is completely empty. I walk up to the girl’s dormitory. Just as I guessed, everyone is peacefully asleep. I bet they didn’t even notice my absence last night which is somehow of a relieve. I put my hair up in a messy bun and my pajama on. Then I grab my book lying on the table before walking down to the common room again.

 

Only this time the room isn’t empty. On the couch near the cracking fire sits Remus with a book in his hands. I abruptly come to a stop when he looks up and meet my eyes. I struggle between turning around or staying to read with him.

“Do you mind if I stay with you?” I finally ask in a shy voice.

“Not at all.” He answers in a kind voice.

I send him a small smile before grabbing the blanket partly lying on the floor. I decide to sit on the couch right in front of him, next to the fire. I cover myself in the warm blanket before opening my book on my laps. He doesn’t say anything, just look at me in silence until I’m comfortable enough to sigh in relieve.

 

“How are you feeling?” he suddenly asks. His gold-brown eyes are scanning my face and my partly uncovered body to look for any serious injury.

“I don’t remember anything since last evening but besides that I’m okay. I think tomorrow is going to be worst without the medics.” I answer. He nods and I can see something like relieve in his eyes, as his entire body seems to relax. The simple gesture makes a small bubble of happiness spread in my chest. Is this how it feels like to see that someone actually cares about you?

 

He snaps me out of my thoughts as he suddenly grabs something in his pocket and my eyes grow wide.

“Is this what I think it is?” I ask in awe, putting my book aside.

“McGonagall gave it to me earlier. The centaurs found it in the forest and she thought you would like to have it back.” He says with a proud smirk.

 

Tears of happiness are blurring my vision as I grab the wand he reaches out to me. I take my time to study it, just to make sure it’s really my wand that I’m actually holding. I press it to my heart and close my eyes. A huge smile makes his way to my lips. I open my eyes again to look at Remus and I see small sparkles in his own eyes.

 

“Thank you” I tell him with all the sincerity I can managed in the small sentence.

“You’re welcome” he replies with a smile before turning his attention back to his book. I put my wand back in my pajama pocket before starting to read my book again.

 

I steal small glances at him above my own book. Strands of his brown hair are falling on his face again. The flames are lightening his feature in the deem light. He still has his black sweater and pants on.

 

While looking at him, I feel like some unknown force is constantly dragging me to him. There is something in his presence that’s making me feel safe and protected. It’s a strange and new feeling but it somehow feels nice. With him around, I simply feel less alone.

 

I turn my attention towards my book again. We continue to read side by side for a few more minutes before he finally breaks the silence.

“You know, I never apologized for what happened.” He says out of the blue.

I look up to see him staring at the fire with a sad expression on his face.

“What do you mean?” I ask him, confused.

“I wasn’t there when James and Sirius humiliated you. I should have told them to leave you alone.” He confesses. The guilt in his eyes when they finally meet mine is enough to make my heart stir in pain.

I look away before answering. “You don’t have to apologize. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. End of the story.”

 

I play with my hands out of nervousness while looking at the cracking fire. “I’m the one who should apologize. I know you only wanted to help me after my incident. The way I spoke to you was just mean. I really appreciated the effort but I wasn’t ready to face the truth. Believe me when I say that I don’t deserve your kindness.” I tell him, locking eyes with him again to let him see the gravity of my statement.

 

He doesn’t look away this time. We stay like since for a little while and it’s like some kind of connection is growing between us.

“I think you do.” He responds sending me a shy smile. My checks grow red again and I quickly turn my attention towards my book lying on my laps to hide my embarrassment.

 

We continue to read in a peaceful silence for a few hours until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.

“I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to fall asleep right there on the couch. I better go to bed.” I say while standing up.

He looks up from his book, smiling kindly at me. “Goodnight then”

“Goodnight” I answer, smiling shyly back at him.

 

I only have the time to walk a few steps as he calls back to me.

“Tomorrow is a Hogsmeade week end. Would you like to join us?” he asks, a little nervous. I let the idea run through my head for a few seconds before answering.

“Yes, I would love to.” I look back at him and see the surprise on his face. To be honest, I’m quite shocked by my own answer but I guess I would appreciate some company for once. His surprise is quickly replaced by a sincere smile, sending a strange feeling in my stomach.


	6. Hogsmeade week end

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

We are all waiting for April to join us in the hall after breakfast the next morning. When I mean all of us, that’s not exactly true. James could convince Lily to spend the day with him, which left Sirius, Peter and me.

“Your girlfriend better not be late or we’ll won’t have the time to drink a butter bier.” Sirius complains, crossing his arms on his chest, clearly impatient.

“She’s not my girlfriend, I just thought that maybe it would be nice for her to spend the day with us instead of roaming along like she is used to. Especially after everything that happened lately.” I answer him, a little annoyed that he continues to tease me about her all the time.

 

He looks towards me, lifting one eyebrow to make me see how skeptical he is about the topic. I just roll my eyes and let out a small sigh of resignation.

“Stop fighting like children, she’s coming.” Peter informs us, looking behind me.

I turn around to see that April’s indeed walking towards us.

 

Since it’s Hogsmeade week end, we don’t have to wear our uniforms. We boys just put some casual pullover and pants on. The big coats are supposed to shield us from the cold just like the Gryffindor scarf we are all wearing. To be honest, we almost look like brothers. But when April approaches I can see that she actually tried to look nice. She’s wearing a big grey pullover, with skinny black pants and short boots. A light brown coat as well as a matching brown and white scarf are covering most of her body. A grey wool cap with a pompon is making her look cutter than ever. Her long brown hair is falling from each side of her face. When she finally comes to a stop, I can see that she even took the time to do some light make up to hide her scars. Her skin is still slightly pale from the previous night. She tries to hide the fact that her body is still hurting but I can see her small winces of pain as she continues to walk towards us.

 

I wake up from my trance by Sirius clearing his throat. I was staring again. What is this girl doing to me? Thank god, she doesn’t seem to notice my strange behaviour.

“Hello guys.” She greets us with a shy smile. “I hope I’m not late.”

“It was clause but you’re forgiven.” Sirius replies with a charming smile only he can manage.

“But now, you are going to know our last and maybe biggest secret. Be prepared because you are not going to believe your eyes” Sirius says in a solemn tone.

 

April doesn’t reply but I can see the curiosity and interest flashing in her dark eyes. Sirius then takes something out of his pocket and reach it to her in such a theatrical way, that I almost suppress a laugh. She takes hold of it before turning it several times in her hands. She finally looks up at us, her eyebrows up in a questioning manner.

“A blank piece of parchment? You are making fun of me, right?” She asks, still not understanding what this whole thing is about.

“Oh, but it’s not an ordinary piece of parchment.” I inform her with a proud smirk. I take out my wand and place it onto the parchment that she’s still holding with a sceptical look on her face. “I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good”.

 

Her eyes grow wide and her mouth hang wide open as she looks at the now completed parchment in front of her.

“Oh my god, is this…?”

“The entire design of Hogwarts and the trace of every single person walking in it? Yes, it is my dear.” Sirius answers, with a voice full of pride.

April continues to look in awe at the small print walking along the small map, with the name of each person written under it.

“How did you get that?” She asks, looking back at us.

“Just close the parchment and read the first page.” I advise her.

 

“Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs are proud to present ‘The Marauder’s map’” she reads out loud. “Wait, you did this?” she wonders, looking at us in shock and disbelieve.

“It’s pretty useful when you need to sneak out of the castle” Peter responds, with a knowing smile.

“But we are not willing to reveal our secret just yet so, just have a little trust in our abilities” I tell her with a wink. Her checks grow red at the action, but before I can even consider the meaning of such a reaction, Sirius grabs the parchment back.

“Mischief managed” he says, pointing his wand on the map. All the writing suddenly disappears, making it impossible for any unwanted eyes to read. “We better go know, or we are going to miss all the fun.” He states. “Ladies first” he says, while gesturing for April to enter a small tunnel hidden behind a statue.

 

She enters without any other question and we follow her lightening the dark tunnel with our wands.

“Where are we going?” she then asks, turning around to look at us.

“To the most precious shop in all Hogsmeade, better known as the candy shop.” I tell her, excitement clear in my voice.

“We could have taken the front door you know.” She states.

“Oh, but it would be far more boring” Sirius replies, making her laugh out in agreement.

 

A couple of minutes later, we finally emerge from the tunnel and enter the candy shop by the backroom. I look around me and smile at the amount of candies in the small room. Sirius and Peter are already filling their bags with all kind of thing. As form me, I know exactly what I came here from. I walk to the shelves and start to pick up as many candies as I can.

 

“Wow, that’s a lot of chocolate” a voice suddenly says behind me. I stop dead in my action to turn around and meet April’s amused gaze. My cheeks are certainly bright red out of embarrassment. My mind was so focused on the chocolate that I haven’t see her following me.

“Humm…” my mind goes blank as I try to find a reasonable excuse, while she continues to look me dead in the eyes, waiting for my answer. I see the small sparkles in her eyes. She’s obviously enjoying the situation way too much.

 

A few more seconds pass by until I finally find my voice again, only to tell her the truth.

“Someone once told me that chocolate can make you feel better even in the hardest situations.” I confess to her, looking at the ground as I wait for her to laugh at my silliness.

To my surprise, she doesn’t even smile but frowns in a concern manner.

“And you believe you’ll be confronted to so much terrible situations until the next Hogsmeade week end?” She asks a little surprised.

“You never know what terrible things life still has in store for you. So better be prepared.” I tell her, looking up again. We lock eyes and I see that she understands what I mean. Life wasn’t kind with any of us and that’s why I feel myself being dragged to her. We don’t know each other that much but we share such a dark secret that we are already somehow bounded.

 

Sadly, the moment is ruined by Sirius screaming at us to hurry. We both quickly look away and start to clear our throat awkwardly.

“I better go and pay for this. You can already go and wait outside with Sirius and Peter” I finally tell her and she just nods before exiting the shop.

 

I quickly pay for the chocolate barres and toss them into my bag hanging from my shoulder. I meet the other already waiting outside in the cold. Snow is slowly falling from the sky and the streets are already covered in white.

“Perfect day for a butter beer?” Peter asks, his voice full of hope.

“You’re totally right my friend” Sirius respond, punching him on the shoulder. We all make our way to the Three Broomsticks.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

Once we arrive, we all make our way to a nearby table and order a butter bier. We wait a few seconds before the waitress puts our order in front of us. I take a sip of my drink and immediately feel the taste warming me up. I see the others smiling so I presume I’m not the only one happy to taste this special drink again.

 

Sirius and Peter are sitting opposite of me while April is sitting on my right. Suddenly, I see a devilish smile making his way on Sirius’ face. I turn my head to the right look at the same spot as him, only to discover Lily and James sitting at a small table in the back.

“Don’t even think about it” I say to Sirius in a warning tone.

“Think about what?” Peter and April ask at the same time.

“Oh, come on Moony! You know I can’t resist!” Sirius whines, pouting like a kid.

I see April’s eyes lit up as she finally spots the couple.

“They are sitting very close to each other. Yet none of them seems to make a move” she states before taking a sip of her bier.

“Exactly! A perfect time for a little prank!” Sirius exclaims, almost jumping on his chair out of excitement. Peter only punch his shoulder in agreement while smiling like a child.

“Stop acting like kids!” I whisper to them, afraid that lily and James could hear us. “We should finish our bier and leave them alone. Come on April, there are plenty other shops to go to.” I tell her while getting up, almost sure to find a support since she doesn’t like pranks at all. Especially Sirius’ ones.

 

“Actually, I think it could be a good idea to stay” she says, making me sit down again in shock.

We all look at her mouth agape.

“What did you say?” Sirius asks in disbelieve.

She sends us a small smile, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Why don’t we use a prank to help them a little bit instead of hurting people” she says, sending a knowing glare to Sirius.

“And what do you have in mind princess?” he asks her in a smooth tone.

 

She doesn’t respond, taking her wand out of her pocket instead. We watch as she makes a small wave, whispering some sort of spell.

Suddenly, we see a branch of mistletoes growing above the couple. Sirius whistle, making Lily and James turn around to look at us.

“Hey lovebirds, look up!” he shouts, already laughing.

 

They both look up and their eyes grow wide. They then shyly look at each other before leaning down for a chaste kiss. Sirius and Peter stand up, cheering and laughing.

April let out a small laugh before looking at me. I smile back at her, happy to see her like this. It’s the first time I see her so relaxed and pleased and it makes my heart skip a beat. Her eyes are still sparkling with mischief, a part of her that I didn’t know and I have to say that I really love it.

 

We continue to stare at each other, as now the entire bar is applauding and whistling with Sirius and Peter. My eyes flickers to her lips and I realize that I could just kiss her right her and then. She doesn’t break eye contact, slowly leaning in while her eyes slowly start to close.

 

Sirius suddenly punches me in the shoulder out of excitement for his friends, almost knocking me off my chair.

“Oh my god, we should definitely do this again!” Sirius shouts, smiling brightly at April. She lets out a small laugh again.

“Now let’s go we have so much more to do before the end of the day” Peter says, standing up with Sirius.

 

They walk to the exit and I quickly exchange a glance with April. Both our cheeks are red at what almost happened and we both smile shyly at each other before following the others outside.

 

I open the door for her and she mutters some shy thanks before frowning.

“Hum… Remus? Where are Sirius and Peter?” she asks, a little nervous.

I look around me in the snowy and cold streets of Hogsmeade but my friends are nowhere to be seen.

I suddenly see a small snowball flying right at my head and I barely have the time to bend down.

I hear the snow crashing against the door behind me and I quickly intertwined my finger with April’s to led her behind a pile of wood next to the The Three Broomsticks.

 

“What’s happening?!” she asks hurriedly.

“Snowball fight” I tell her, and we both glance above the pile to spot Sirius and Peter hiding behind a carriage, their hands already filled with snowballs.

We sit down again, our back against the wood. I take my wand out and make a huge pile of perfect snowballs appear in front of us.

 

April laughs before looking down at our still intertwined fingers. When she looks back up at me, her smile doesn’t fade, on the contrary, I’ve never seen her smiling so bright.

“Remus Lupin, we better win this war” she says before getting up to pick as much snowballs as she can. I laugh and follow her lead.

“Ready?” I ask her, excitement clear in my voice. Her nose is slightly red from the cold, making her look adorable when she nods.

“Ready!” she responds as overjoyed as me. We both jump out of our hiding spot and begin to throw as much snowballs as possible at Peter and Sirius who also run towards us.

 

We meet in the middle of the place, laughing and kicking each other in the snow, like there is no care in the world.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

**April’s POV:**

 

“Oh my god you almost kissed Remus !!” Lily exclaims, jumping slightly while slapping her hands together like a schoolgirl.

 

We are both sitting on my bed alone in the dormitory, speaking about the day we spend at Hogsmeade. I feel more and more comfortable around her. I like the fact that she knows my secret but still treat me like a normal person. I think she’s the first real girls talk of my life and I enjoy it.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I try to defend myself.

“Oh, don’t play that game with me. I saw you to leaning to each other!” she says, pointing an accusing finger at me.

My eyes widen and my cheeks must be bright red by know, thinking that someone else could have noticed.

“Haha! I knew it! You like him!” she states, proud evident in her voice.

“Okay, maybe and just maybe I feel something different then friendship for him.” I point my finger up to silent her before continuing “but the real matter is that you and James kissed” I tell her with a smile, happy to change the topic.

 

She hides her head in her face and let herself fall back onto the mattress, groaning. I slightly kick her side with my feet.

“Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t like it.” I tease her even more.

Her face is now as red as her hair when she looks up.

“Maybe…” she says in a sing-song tone and we both burst into laugh.

“And he even invited me to the Christmas ball” she adds proudly. I look at her eyes furrowed. “The Christmas ball!” she says like it’s totally obvious “Oh, come on!” she complains, taking my hand to drag me in the common room.

 

We stop in front of a placard claiming that a Christmas ball is going to have place in a month.

“See, I told you!” Lily states. “And we both know who is going to ask you to come” she says pushing me playfully with her shoulder.

 

I look at her suddenly serious again.

“We’re not sure of anything. The fact that I have feelings for him doesn’t mean that he has feelings for ME. We’re just friends.” I confess my insecurity to her.

She wraps her arms around me to hug me and I surprisingly appreciate the gesture. I’m not one to be comfortable with human contact but I guess that a lot has change lately.

“I guess you heard the rumour about the girl from Ravenclaw?” she asks me sadly.

 

I just nod and look to the ground a small piece of ice clenched in my heart. A few hours before as we were both sitting in the great hall for dinner, I heard a group of Ravenclaw talk about Remus and I couldn’t help but listen.

 

Apparently one of them, a blond and pretty girl with bright blue eyes has a crush on him and wants him to ask her for a date. Her friends were all supportive and told her they would help her out. My heart stopped at the news. I never thought for one second that someone could also have feelings for Remus. I lived in a small bubble who only included The Marauders, Lily and me. It’s like the other people in the castle had vanished from my mind. But now reality kicks in and so does my insecurity. What if Remus already like someone else?

 

Lily’s voice breaks me out of my memory. “I’m sure it’s nothing. He spends most of his time with you and he’s definitely not one for judging. He’s the kindness person I’ve ever met. There is no doubt that he loves you for who you are, regardless of what happened to you this past weeks.” she tries to comfort me.

 

I look at her and smile, grateful that she cares enough for me to try and comfort me like that. She smiles back before saying “Come on, we better go to bed, it’s almost curfew.” I nod and we both head back to the dormitory.

 

My heart is still aching at the bare thought of Remus dating the Ravenclaw girl. Deep down, I’m really not sure that he likes me enough to invite me to the ball but I know one thing. Seeing him dancing and kissing another girl is definitely going to break my heart and even my entire soul.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

The next Monday, I sit down on the school bench with a light heart. The week end was really great and I surprisingly appreciated to spend some time with Lily and the Marauders and more specifically Remus. The warm in my chest is continuing to increase whenever he is around. I love to learn small things about him, like his love for chocolate. I smile like an idiot and my cheeks grow red at the bare memory of the tiny moment of connection we shared in the Three broomsticks.

 

I’m send back to reality by the teacher suddenly enters the room. This afternoon, I had Transfiguration with McGonagall. She’s a very strict teacher but I really like her, not because she’s Gryffindor’s headmaster but more because her cold behaviour is hiding a huge heart. I turn my head slightly to see if the Marauders are sitting on their usual spot, in the far back of the room. They all look back at me, waving at me with a smile on their faces. I shyly wave back at them before turning back to face the black board.

 

“Today, we are going to study a brand new and special topic. I know it can be a sensitive subject so I count on you to keep your opinions at bay.” She says, looking directly with her piercing eyes at the Slytherin students who are unfortunately sharing this class with us.

 

With a wave of her wand, the white word is slowly appearing on the black board and my blood runs cold. I look at the small letters petrified. I blink several times as if it would make this terrible word disappear. But as much as I pray for it to vanish, the white words are still screaming out to me ‘Werewolf”.

 

“Can anyone tell me why a werewolf can’t be described as a proper Animagus?” McGonagall asks, scanning our faces one by one in order to pick up someone to answer her question. I quickly look back at the piece of parchment on my table, my hair falling in front of my face like a shield. My fingers are going white from holding my quill pen so tight.

“Yes, Mrs Quill?” McGonagall point to a slytherin girl who just rose her hand.

“Werewolf are forced to transform every full moon. The Animagus can transform whenever they want. But the most important difference is that the Animagus still know what they are doing. Werewolves on the other hand lose all kind of control of themselves. They kill, and attack every single living being around. They are monsters who doesn’t even deserve to be a part of this world” she ends her speech, disgust clear in her tone. Everyone around her start to nod in agreement, some of the slytherin even shouting more hatred words.

 

I can’t hear McGonagall’s sharp reply at this. The girl’s words are rigging in my head. My heart is pounding in my chest as the small bubble I built around myself to protect me from the reality of the situation suddenly explodes. Everything around me becomes blurry and I need to take my head in my hands to stop the world from spinning.

 

I take a deep breath and look up at the board again, to see a picture of a werewolf, his mouth wide open revealing his sharp teeth and the animosity in his eyes. The realization suddenly hits me and it hits me hard. When I lost my memories the first night of the transformation, it just felt like I was in a coma the entire night. My mind didn’t even register that I actually transformed in this terrific creature. Now that I’m looking right at it, I realize what fate has done to me. I’m going to become this killing machine every once in the month, bringing every living being in danger. Maybe even hunt someone like I have been hunted in the forest. God knows what I could do once I’m not in Hogwarts anymore. People are going to find out and they are going to despise me. Werewolves are treated like monsters and no one trusts them. I’m going to stay forever alone. Remus is never going to share his life with me when he can be loved by a normal and pretty girl. He doesn’t need more problems than he already has. A hideous creature is going to be a part of me for the rest of my life and there is no way for me to ever be free again.

 

I feel like the world is crawling around me and I don’t even acknowledge that I’m still sitting in a classroom. I abruptly stand up and run away, tears falling on my cheeks.

 

I run as fast as I can to the astronomy tower. I only stop once I reach the top and put my hands around the railing. I look at the wonderful view as the wind start to blow in my hear. Hogwarts always seems so magical. My fingers are growing white as I continue to hold on, closing my eyes. I take a deep breath before taking my wand out to make the railing disappear in front of me. I look down at the void above me and I feel like his calling out to me.

 

“Please don’t” I hear a soothing voice behind me. I don’t have to turn around to know who this voice belongs to. Remus. My heart is missing a beat. I don’t want him to be here. I don’t want him to see what I’m going to do but another part of me is always relieved to see that he still cares. I just can’t let him care anymore. I’m not worth it. My feelings towards him are growing by every passing day, but I know that despite his genuine kindness he could never share those feelings.

 

“What’s the point of all this? No one even knows I exist. My parents didn’t even bother to spend one second of their life with me. No one is going to notice that I’m dead.” I state in blank tone. “I’m a monster!” I scream out, despair clear in my voice. “No one is going to miss me.” I whisper in a now shaky voice, still looking at the emptiness below me.

 

“I’m going to miss you” he says, making me look back at him. “As well as Lily, Peter, Sirius and James. We are all friends now remember? We are going to be there for you and help you just as much as they helped me.” He tells me, looking me straight in the eyes. “I know how it feels but this isn’t the way. You can just give up a fight like this. I know you are strong and I know you can make it through this. Just give me your hand” he says, reaching his hand for me to hold just like he did after this terrible night.

 

I look away, still unsure of what to do. I can’t seem to think straight anymore. I look back at his outstretched hand again and memories of this evening, when he helped me even if he didn’t know a single thing about me are playing in my mind, just like the memories of the past months that I spend with all of them. My friends. I look into Remus’ eyes and the same warm feeling is pulling me towards him. I know that he’s more than a friend to me and that he’s ever going to be more than that. My body suddenly crave for his arms to wrap around me, to comfort me.

 

I slowly lift my hand to meet his and he immediately pulls me back, making us collapse against the wall. I cross my arms around my legs and start to cry. I cry for what feels like hours, letting go of all the sorrow and desperation that was locked in my mind since the attack.

 

Remus doesn’t say anything, he just let me push this all out. I feel his hand slowly rubbing my back in a soothing manner. After a while, I finally wipe away the last tears. We still don’t speak and I try my best to not look at him, feeling ashamed of my own outburst.

 

I hear him searching for something in his pocket, until I see a small piece of chocolate being hold in front of me. I turn my head towards him in a questioning manner.

“Just eat some. You’re going to feel much better.” He tells me with a small smirk.

I can barely hold back a smile as I carefully grab the piece of chocolate. I take the first bite and it seems like the sweet taste is spreading in my entire body, comforting me. I close my eyes to savour the flavour of it.

 

“Thank you, Remus” I whisper, looking at him. His gold-brown eyes are filled with kindness as well as something else I can’t quite describe.

 

He gently smiles down at me and I put my arms around his neck and hug him. I can feel my heart flutter at my own gesture, feeling his warm and comforting body against mine. He puts his arms around my waist to hold me even closer to him, his strong arms shielding me from my fears. I burry my face in the crock of his neck, feeling his sent of parchment, cinnamon and something reminding me of a forest. Tears are falling again and I continue to desperately hold on to him. Only this time there aren’t tears of sadness but tears of gratefulness.


	7. Time for some revelations

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

A few days passed since the incident with April and she seems to have at least accept the fact that she wasn’t alone in this. We all make sure to show her how much we actually want to help her. I’m sitting with the rest of the Marauders in the classroom, trying to understand something about the potion we are supposes to make.

 

“Guys, we better hurry. The Christmas ball is approaching and we need to pick the right girl.” Sirius whispers, hiding behind the cauldron. Thank god, Professor Slughorn seems to be busy talking with one of his favourite students.

 

“I already solved the problem.” James tells us proudly, while throwing another ingredient in the potion we are currently making.

“What? You could convince Lily to come with you?” Peter asks in awe and James only nods.

“Okay so you’re out of the game.” Sirius states, before turning to Peter and me. “Okay, I’m planning to ask a Gryffindor girl tonight. She won’t resist my natural charm so, this only leaves the both of you” Sirius says with a smirk.

“Hum actually, I’ve already ask someone…” Peter informs us shyly. We all turn to him wide eyes before punching his shoulder to show our support on the matter.

“Okay Moony, you’re the last one. Everyone knows who you are going to ask but the question is, when are you finally going to ask her?” James says, and they all look at me waiting for my answer.

 

I continue to toss the potion and let my strands cover my eyes. The truth is that I already thought of thousand different ways to ask her. Sadly, it seems that I just can’t find the right way.

“Oh, come on Moony, you’re a Gryffindor for god’s sake. You can’t be afraid of a single woman?” Sirius says, punching me so hard on the back that the spoon falls inside of the cauldron, letting a small explosion erupt.

 

“What are you guys doing?” Lily suddenly asks, turning towards us. She was sitting on the desk right in front of us with April. I hope with all of my heart that they didn’t catch on what we were whispering.

“Nothing!” Peter quickly says, making it ever more obvious that we were talking about a touchy subject.

Lily narrows her eyes at us and April turns around to give us a questioning look.

 

“We are talking about the Christmas ball. Everyone already found a girl beside Remus.” James confesses, making all the heads turn towards me. I quickly look down to my book to hide my embarrassment.

“Really?” Lily asks with a devilish smirk. “And do you already know who you want to ask? Maybe we can help?” she continues and the way she looks at me makes it so obvious that I decide to find a way to escape the fact that she wants me to confess my feelings for April.

“Yes, actually I have already someone in mind.” I tell her and I can see April straighten on her chair.

“And can we know her name?” Lily pushes even further. I never would have thought that she would push the thing this far. I was sure that she would drop the subject. Panic overwhelms me and my mind goes blank. I can feel April’s eyes burring into me as she waits for my answer.

“No, sorry. Besides, you don’t even know her” I answer quickly, not even thinking about what I just said.

 

And by the look of pure disappointment on April’s face, I can tell that I definitely just made a huge mistake. Lily frowns at me and looks like she’s going to kill me. The guys still sitting next to me are letting small groans out and Sirius even slaps himself in disbelief.

 

Before I can apologize or try to repair the mess I just created, the bell stars to ring and both girls quickly pick their stuff before exiting the room.

Sirius slaps his hand slightly on my back before saying “You really have a lot to learn about seduction”. I groan and let my head fall on the desk in despair.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

A few minutes later, I try to make my way through the crowded hall to reach April. I can see her walking a few inches from me but she refuses to stop as I call her name. She finally comes to a stop as she waits for the stairs to move. She looks behind her and I can tell that’s she’s praying for them to move as fast as possible to give her the possibility to run away.

 

I push the last student aside before grabbing her wrist. She doesn’t look at me but she doesn’t try to break free either.

“April listen I’m sorry. It isn’t what you think…” I start but I’m quickly cut off by the students behind us, complaining about the fact that we’re blocking the way.

“April, please. Just give me a few seconds to explain myself.” I plaid. She finally looks towards me, her face expressionless before following me to the nearest corner.

 

I let go of her wrist before playing with my fingers out of nervousness. She still doesn’t say a word, patiently waiting for me to explain what just happened a few minutes ago. I know I hurt her and it breaks me to be the cause of her pain. She holds her books close to her chest in an attempt to shield herself for what I’m about to say.

 

I take a deep breath and find the courage to lock eyes with her before speaking.

“Look, I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I don’t know why I reacted like that. I was scared and I panicked. You know that I’m not found of public attention and the fact that everyone was around to hear what I had to say made me say stupid things. This other girl I‘ve been talking about doesn’t exists.”

 

I see her frown in confusion and I gather all my last courage to ask her what I wanted to ask for a while now. “April you’re the girl I want to invite to the ball.” I finally confess in a insecured tone.

 

“Oh” I all she says. She looks utterly surprised and I’m suddenly nervous again. What if she doesn’t share my feelings? What if the connection I thought we had only exists in my own mind?

 

I slowly start to panic and feel embarrassed. I’m about to turn away to leave her but her voice stops me dead in my tracks.

“I would love to go to the ball with you, Remus.” She says, making my heart jump in my chest. A wild smile is making his way to my lips and I turn around to look at her. I meet her sparkling eyes and she lets out a small laugh.

“You’re such an idiot” she says before starting to laugh. I soon follow her and we both stand in the corner of the stairs, laughing like idiots, about the silliness of the situation we found ourselves in.

 

I wipe a tear from my eyes as we start to gain some composure again. It continues to amaze me to see how ecstatic I feel whenever I see her happy, which only makes me want to make her laugh like this for the rest of her life.

 

“April, there is something more I’d like to tell you…” I start, taking her hand in mine to intertwine our fingers. But I’m cut off again, this time by none other than McGonagall herself.

“April, the headmaster wants to see you in his office.” She says from behind me.

April’s eyes flickered from McGonagall to me, not sure if she has the time to hear me out.

“Now!” The Professor insists, in her strict tone. With a last glance at me and an apological smile, April let go of my hand to follow McGonagall to Dumbledore’s office.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

**April’s POV:**

 

 

I reach out to knock on the door when it suddenly opens right in front of me. I carefully take a look inside to see that no one is standing behind. The door must have open up by magic. I enter Dumbledore’s office and take a look around me. It’s the first time I enter the Headmaster’s office and I must confess that curiosity is overwhelming me. He is one of the most (if not the most) powerful wizard in the word so, I prepared myself to see a room as impressive as the owner himself. I can tell that I’m not disappointed by the sight.

 

A deem light is lightening the dark room, making it seem mysterious. Thousands of different and pretty strange objects are spread across the entire room. I can’t even identify the half of them. I notice a basin that contains a blue substance like some sort of water. A bright light is emanating of it but I’m too afraid to touch anything so I continue to walk in the huge room, exploring as much as I can.

 

My heart comes to a stop as I hear a piercing cry on my right. I turn around with my wand in hand, ready to confront whatever made this noise. My eyes grow wide and I put my wand down as I recognize a beautiful creature sitting on a branch on the end of Dumbledore’s office. I slowly walk closer, in order to have a better look. I can’t help but smile as the creature suddenly looks at me. I still can’t believe that I’m standing right in front of a real Phoenix. His feathers are red and gold and there is some sort of majesty emanating from him. I’m about to reach my hand to try and touch it when I hear a voice coming from the small balcony above.

 

“Getting familiar with my office I can see”. I jump slightly and see Dumbledore himself walking down the steps to reach his office.

My cheeks grow bright red in embarrassment and I mumble some kind of excuses.

Dumbledore looks at me over his tiny glasses and let out a light smile.

“You don’t need to apologize.” He states, amusement clear in his voice. “Now please take a sit. We have some important matters to discuss I’m afraid.” He adds suddenly becoming serious again.

 

He gestures for me to take the sit in front of him and I comply. I feel a knot in my stomach as I look at him. The seriousness in his eyes is enough to make me start to panic. I know that I’m not going to like whatever he’s going to tell me.

 

“April, there is something I need to tell you. It’s a terrible secret I was forced to hold for your own safety. Unfortunately, the dramatic events you’ve lately been through are changing my plains drastically. I’m going to have to ask you something. Something far too dangerous for a young girl.” He says, his tone becoming sad under the statement and he turn his gaze to his intertwine hands on his lap.

 

I wait for him to continue but my impatience is getting the best of me so I decide to speak up.

“Please Professor, can you be more specific? I’m confused.” I tell him, feeling like waiting another minute is going to kill me.

 

He takes his time to rise from his chair and walk to the corner of the room. He turns his back to me and start to play with some unknown object.

“You probably think that your parents abandoned you, don’t you?” he asks.

 

I frown in utter surprise, not prepared to hear something involving my parents.

“Since I was raised in an orphanage, that’s what I presumed, yes.” I answer, getting more confused by the minutes.

“Well, that’s not totally true.” He confesses, finally turning to face me again. He avoids my gaze and continues to absent mindedly turn the object in his hands.

 

I’m too shocked from the revelation to say a single word. He doesn’t wait for me to ask any question before continuing.

“I’m the one who made sure you grow up as far as possible from your parents, for your own safety. I placed you in this orphanage to make sure they wouldn’t find you. Without knowing it, you were surrounded by wizards who kept an eye on you.”

 

“What are you saying? You stole my parents from me?!” I shout at him, ignoring the fact that I’m talking to the Headmaster himself. I grab the armchairs tightly, my fingers growing white. I can feel the anger rising in me like a wild fire.

 

“We have all the right to think that your parents are working for the dark Lord. Although known as Lord Voldemort.” He calmly says and it feels like he just slapped me in the face.

“That’ not possible” I whisper in shock.

“I’m afraid it is.” Dumbledore states before putting his tool aside to sit in front of me again, crossing his fingers on his knees. He patiently waits for me to process.

 

My mind is running wild. I heard about this dark wizard and the terrible things he’s done to gain his power. People die every day to fight against him and his terrific magic. He spreads a wave of fear in every single wizard. For some reason, he still finds supporters to help him achieve his goal. They are known as the deatheaters.

 

I can’t believe that my parents are one of them. Fighting for a life full of hate and death, fear and despair. But then again, what do I know about them? They are strangers to me.

 

“Why are you telling me this now?” I finally ask in a shaky voice.

“As I said, the latest events are forcing me to. Your parents are the leaders of a very powerful werewolf community. That’s why Voldemort wanted them to be a part of his deatheaters. Your parents, Helena and Yan Grant, are supposed to build an army.”

“What does it have to do with me? I never wanted to know who my parents really are. I don’t care about them and it’s not going to change now. I’ve been raised on my own.” I state in a cold voice.

 

“Unfortunately, we think that your ‘accident’ had been planned by them. We fear that they are going to contact you to try to follow their cause. I wasn’t able to protect you as much as I wanted to and I’m sorry.” He says, before staying silent for a few seconds.

 

I wait for him to continue, not able to accept his apologizes just yet.

“What I’m about to ask you is terrible and believe me when I say that I couldn’t find any other solution.”

 

He lets out a deep sigh before finally reaching the high point of this conversation. “I want you to let them contact you. I want you to make them believe that you’re willing to join their cause. We believe that they’re planning a huge attack and I need you to gain their trust to help us stop them. I know that’s too much to ask and the choice is all yours. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to.” Dumbledore finally finishes.

 

My eyes don’t leave the wooden desk as I start to think about my answer. Soon my mind drifts to all the latest time I spend with my friends. How much I care about them in such a short amount of time. Then I think about Remus. About the fact that he hates himself for the creature constantly sleeping inside of him. Of how much we both suffer under this burden. How we crave for a normal life, without fear for other people’s life. A life without this constant pain. My feelings for him are getting stronger every day and I can’t stand to this the small sadness he hides in his eyes. It hurts me to know that I’m never going to light it off.

 

Then I think about my parents. About the fact that I don’t know a single thing about them. I know that deep down I wanted them to be the great parents every child is craving for. I hoped that they never abandoned me. That it was all just a mistake. I realize that I actually never stop to believe that somehow my family was going to find me again. I just lie to myself when I pretend that I don’t care. After all the things that Dumbledore just told me, I know one thing.

 

I need to see with my own eyes who my parents are. I need to be sure if the allegations are right. I need to find my own truth. And most importantly, if what Dumbledore said is true, I need to stop them. For me, for Remus, and for all the other victims of this terrible curse.

 

I slowly look up to meet Dumbledore’s gaze. I make sure to look him dead in the eyes, to make him see my determination.

“I’m doing it.”

 

Dumbledore doesn’t respond at first but he doesn’t seem surprise either. It almost looks like he already knew my answer. He nods slightly before speaking.

“I believe your parents are going to contact you during the upcoming holidays, as you’re going to go back to the orphanage. I’m going to send you everything you needs to know by letter in the upcoming weeks.”

I nod at him, and he looks at me above his glasses with his piercing blue eyes again before continuing.

 

“But more importantly, you need to make everyone believe that you joined their side, do you understand? When I say everyone, I mean including the people you consider close to you. You can decide to stay silent and just disappear, but if they try to contact you, you need to be convincing.” His look on me is so intense that I have no doubt that he’s reading my soul.

 

I take a deep breathe before answering.

“You can count on me. I’m going to do whatever it takes.”

“Good. This is a task only you can fulfill and I have no doubts that I can trust you. Do you have any other question for now?” Dumbledore finally asks, still looking me straight in the eyes.

“No, Professor.” I answer, my voice now confident.

He just nods, making me know that our conversation is now over. I wish him goodnight before leaving the room. I slide against the nearest wall and sit in the empty hallway for a moment. I try to process what I just discovered about my parents and my task. I’m going to have to sleep on it to truly understand what I just engaged myself in. I rub my temples a few times, feeling the headache coming. I close my eyes and take slow and deep breathes to calm myself. My hands are shaking but I know that I have to be strong. I think about my friends and the fact that I need to be a part of this battle to save the only family I’ve ever known. Feeling brave again, I push myself up and head for the Gryffindor common room.

 

I don’t even realize that I’ve already reach the dormitory, before seeing the amount of papers spread across my bed. I let out a deep sigh. I have to put my worries aside. My parents are probably going to wait until the holidays to contact me, which leaves me a month to prepare myself. For now, I have to concentrate on the present. Which means doing all the homework that I forgot to do these past weeks.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

I enter the library a little later, in order to finish my homework. Dumbledore’s words are running through my mind over and over again, making me go crazy. I definitely need a distraction right now. I’m about to reach my special desk, the one in the far corner of the room, when I see that someone is already sitting there. I frown and continue to walk, to see who decided to steal my peaceful little place. The deem light on the wall above the table finally allows me to recognize the person studying on my favorite spot.

 

Remus is leaning above what seems like thousands of papers and books. I can hear the pen scratching as he continues to write frantically. A small smile plays on my lips at the sight. He’s wearing a worn sweater with a white shirt underneath. His hair looks all mess up and the fact that he’s running his hand through them right now isn’t making it any better. The scars on his face are only adding to his mysterious charm. He still hasn’t noticed me standing a few feet away from him, too absorb in his work. Remus is very smart and he likes to study and read. Two qualities you can add to his infinite kindness.

 

My heart jumps in my chest and I need to clear my throat to regain some composure. The sound in the silent library is enough to make him look up. Our eyes meet and I suddenly feel frozen in place, fearing that he actually noticed me staring. Fortunately, he only sends me a small smile before putting his pen down.

“Hello, April” he simply says and the smile on my face reappears again.

“Hello, Remus” I reply and we both stand there, in silence, not knowing what to do. The fact that he invited me to the ball makes the situation between us different. I don’t know why but it’s like we’re slightly breaking out of the friend zone, to enter a strange and unknown territory.

“Hum… do you need m help with something?” he finally asks, breaking this awkward situation.

 

That’s enough to make my brain work again. I shake my head slightly to prevent my voice from shaking.

“Actually, I wanted to finish my homework and… since this is my favorite spot…” I begin to explain before realizing what I was implying. I mentally slap myself. “But it doesn’t matter, really. I’m just going to sit somewhere else it’s perfectly fine” I quickly add, sending him my best smile before walking pass him to reach another table.

 

He quickly grabs my arm to prevent me from leaving.

“Wait! You can still stay if you want. The table is long enough for two. Let me just grab you a chair” he says and I think about it before nodding.

He smiles and leave to grab me a chair. A few minutes later, he finally places one next to his.

“I would never have thought that the library would be so full today.” He admits.

“That’s why I love this spot, it hides you from the other students” I confess before sitting down next to him.

 

I grab my homework from my bag and start to search through the different books. We work for at least thirty minutes in a peaceful silence. I have to confess that I love to work with him. His presence is still so comforting and we don’t have to talk about idiotic stuff to fill the silence.

 

I write the last sentence before a yawn escape my lips and I stretch a little.

“Someone’s tied from studying?” Remus ask, in an amused tone.

I let out a small laugh before punching him lightly on the shoulder.

“I still don’t get who you love to study so much. It’s really exhausting” I reply, making him laugh in the process.

“I think I’m going to grab my stuff and go back to the common room” I say, starting to pick the different paper’s and books.

 

Wow, I really didn’t realize how many were actually spread across the table. It’s a real mess.

“Wait, I’m going to help you” Remus offers his help, and I gladly accept.

He reaches his arm in front of me to grab a book lying on the other end of the table. By doing that, he leans a little closer to me and I can feel his breath. I look at him and he turns his attention to me as well, suddenly aware of how close our faces are.

 

A wave of bravery rushes through me and I close my eyes before breaking the small space separating us. Remus doesn’t reply at first, as my lips touch his. I’m just about to back away again, unsure of what I just did when I feel his hand cupping my cheek and the other sliding in my hair to hold me in place. Our lips meet again for a soft and gentle kiss.

 

My heart is pounding in my chest and a feeling of pure bliss is overwhelming me. There is no coming back know as I realize that I’ve just fallen in love with Remus Lupin.


	8. This is goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I know that it's late for a christmas update but I didn't find the time to write it until now.  
> Sorry! Hope you still appreciate the chapter though. 
> 
>  
> 
> Links: 
> 
> https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GSry_fXAru4/maxresdefault.jpg  
> https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2053/3799/products/BIRDY_GREY_JULES_DRESS_EMERALD_3_900x.jpg?v=1532657685  
> https://i.pinimg.com/736x/52/e6/56/52e6561c83f8765bed060defdb760678.jpg  
> https://www.lulus.com/images/product/xlarge/3126200_264170.jpg

 

**April’s POV:**

 

“Ouch! Be careful!” I complain again, reaching out to my hair. Lily prevents me from touching it by slapping my hand.

“Don’t touch it, you’re going to ruin it! I’m almost done” she says, scolding me on my behaviour.

 

I let out a deep sigh and let her finish her work, her wand dancing around my head as she tries to help me with my hairstyle. We are both sitting on my bed in the dormitory, getting ready for the ball. Lily and I spend our last Hogsmeade week end shopping to find the best dress to wear for the party. It was my first real “girl day” and I must admit that it was pretty fun. We tried a lot of different outfits before we finally found THE dress.

 

Lily and I became even closer thanks to this moment we shared together. I know consider her as my best friend. She was there, along with the Marauders when I woke up after my second transformation, who was even more painful than the first one. I opened my eyes to see an also not looking well Remus holding my hand tight between his own and Lily, Peter, James and Sirius were standing right behind him with worried looks on their faces. They are the shoulders I can lay on during this difficult time and I don’t know what I could have possibly do to deserve such a strong friendship.

 

I try to take my time and savour every single moment of joy and silliness with them. Dumbledore contacted me again, in order to give me some advises on how to succeed the mission. I haven’t say a single word about this to anyone. Not even my closes friends. I have to keep them as far away from this as possible for their own safety. I’m still determinate to follow Dumbledore’s idea and I can’t help but being nervous at the thought that I’m going to finally meet my parents.

 

Now I’m waiting for Lily to finish my hair before the ball begins. I know this is the last time I’m going to spend with her and the Marauders at Hogwarts. I don’t know how long I’m going to stay with my parents. Maybe it’s even the last time I’m going to see them. My mind drifts to Remus and I have to fight the tears. Tonight, is going to be our first real date and deep down I fear it could also be the last.

 

I take a deep breath and push these thoughts away. Tonight, is going to be magical and I’m going to have as much fun as possible with my friends. I’m going to try and built the best memories with them.

 

“Okay, we’re ready!” Lily suddenly exclaims, bringing me back to reality.

We both move to stand in front of the huge mirror she just make appear in the corner of the room.

 

Lily looks as stunning as ever. She chose a long emerald dress, matching perfectly with her long braid falling on her side.

** <https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GSry_fXAru4/maxresdefault.jpg> **

** <https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2053/3799/products/BIRDY_GREY_JULES_DRESS_EMERALD_3_900x.jpg?v=1532657685> **

 

I take a step closer to the mirror in order to look at the hairstyle Lily helped me with. I must confess that she did an amazing job. She braided a few strands together in, letting the rest fall down in light curls on my back. My long dark red dress completes the look.

** <https://i.pinimg.com/736x/52/e6/56/52e6561c83f8765bed060defdb760678.jpg> **

** <https://www.lulus.com/images/product/xlarge/3126200_264170.jpg> **

 

We both share an ecstatic smile like schoolgirls before exiting the room to meet with our dates in the common room.

Lily is the first to walk down the stairs leading to the two boys already waiting for us. I take a look downstairs, still hiding in the shadows. James’ eyes are glowing as he looks at Lily and I feel so happy for them. I know they are making a great couple and I hope for them to ever stay that way.

 

I then take a look at Remus standing right beside his friend. He’s wearing a black and elegant robe. He looks nervous as he continues to play with his fingers and I can see that he’s slightly shifting on his feet. His hair is as messy as always, with the same few strands falling over his right eye, just the way I like them to be. My heart stops in my chest as I look at him and I can feel the small butterflies in my stomach as I remember our kiss in the library.

 

“Where is April?” James asks Lily after he placed a kiss on her check.

“April! Come on we are waiting for you!” Lily screams in my way.

I gather all the courage I can find to step into the light. Hating to be the centre of attention I keep my gaze on the ground, trying to hide my embarrassment as I walk down the steps. Everything seems so quite all of a sudden, making me gaze up in concern. That’s when I finally meet Remus’ gaze.

 

His kind eyes are glowing as he stares at me like I’m the only person present in the room. A feeling of warmth and comfort is overwhelming me and my cheeks are bright red as I finally stop in front of him. He reaches out to me and gently slides his thumb along my jaw, his eyes never leaving mine.

“You look stunning” he whispers and I smile at him.

 

“Sorry to interrupt lovebirds but we’re already late!” Sirius exclaims suddenly appearing with Peter and their own dates behind us. I turn to look at him and laugh when I see him pout like a small child.

“We better go then” Lily says, laughing and winking at me.

They all turn around to leave and I focus on Remus again. He smiles before reaching his arm for me to take. I happily comply before following the others in the hall.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

**Remus’ POV:**

 

We are all standing in the middle of the Main hall a few minutes later. The music can already be heard through the closed doors. James is the first to react and opens the door. He enters the ballrooms, followed by the others and I look down at April.

“Ready?” I ask her with a smile.

She looks up at me and smiles bake before answering.

“Ready!”

We both enter the Great Hall and immediately come to a stop to look around us in awe.

 

The room looks simply magical. Candles are flowing everywhere, lightening the huge Christmas trees. The decoration is in a sober red and gold colours which spreads a feeling of a cosy traditional Christmas. Mistletoes are hanging here and there and you can see small decorations flying around, like a little Santa in his sleigh as well as small reindeers. The sky above is full of stars and different colours are melting together, completing what seems like the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen.

 

The tables are now all aligned along the walls, all full of Christmas food and drinks. The students as well as the teachers are filling the room. Some of them are already dancing in the middle, while others are still talking and laughing with a drink in hands. Everyone seems happy to share this moment of joy. April confessed to me a few days ago that Christmas has always been her favourite time. It brings people back together and it spreads a wonderful spirit around everyone across the world. It helps them realize how beautiful life can be when you’re around people you care about. That’s real magic to her.

 

Today is even more important to her, as she is now surrounded by people she can call a family. And to me, this Christmas is also wonderful because I have finally someone I truly love. I squeeze April’s hand lightly and she turns her attention back to me. She smiles at me as if she just knows what’s happening in my head. Slowly we make our way in the crowd.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

The party starts and the hours seems to fly by. We all laugh and joke together, enjoying each other’s company. Sirius and James are as excited as ever and we all spend some unforgettable moments together.

 

Suddenly, the room is plunged into the dark with only a few candles still lightning the dancefloor. The song ‘Silent night’ starts to play and the couples are already dancing. “It’s my favourite song.” April whispers only for me to hear. “They used to play this song in the church on Christmas eve with only the Christmas tree’s lights on. It was my favourite moment. You let the beautiful music overwhelm you and everything seems so peaceful” she says, smiling at the memory.

 

Without any further hesitation, I hold my hand up for her to take. She looks up in surprise before grabbing it. I lead her in the middle of the room and she slides her hands behind my neck as I hold her waist. We start swinging slowly to the music when small balls of lights start to fall from the magical sky like snowflakes.

 

April rests her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat, and I lay my head on to of hers, savouring the moment. I gaze around me in this peaceful state, smiling when I spot my friends.

 

Lily and James are dancing in the middle of the room in a tight embrace. Sirius and Peter are still laughing around with a drink in hands, slapping their shoulders like brothers.

 

My eyes drift down to April and I catch her looking at our friends just like I did. A small smile is playing on her lips. She suddenly looks up at me and I freeze as I realize that the happiness isn’t reaching her eyes. She continues to intently look at me, almost as if she’s trying to memorize my every feature. Her eyes are glowing and I can tell that she’s fighting to hold back her tears. But I don’t think that these tears are meant to express her happiness.

 

I wait for her to talk to me, to tell me what is bothering her, but she only closes her eyes before leaning against my chest again. I press a light kiss in her hair before leaning back to whisper into her ear.

“Merry Christmas, April”

She looks up to meet my eyes and press her forehead against mine before whispering back.

“Merry Christmas, Remus”

I hold her closer to me and we continue to dance to the slow music for the rest of the night.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

** April’s POV: **

 

“April! We need to move or the train is going to leave without us!” Lily shouts from the hall.

“I’m coming!” I respond, putting my baggage on the wooden floor of the common room.

 

I look around me one last time, trying to somehow engrave this place in my head. The ashes are still slightly red in the fireplace. Papers and books are spread everywhere. Blankets are laying on the couches and the smell of candles is almost overwhelming.

 

My fingers are playing with the small bracelet Remus offered me a few hours ago as a Christmas gift. I lower my gaze to look at it. It was a golden chain with a small wolf as a pendant on the clasp to remind of my Patronus. I truly loved it and it brings me some comfort to know that I could at least caring some memory of Remus with me.

 

I put my scarf around my neck and pick up my baggage before walking out of the room. “Finally!” Lily exclaims before taking my wrist to lead me as quick as possible in the hallway.

 

We run as fast as we can to reach the last carriage where the boys are already gesturing for us to hurry. We finally reach the train, only to see him start to move. In horror, we all jump out of the carriage and start to run as fast as possible.

 

I quickly jump into the train, with the others laughing like mad. We try to make our way through the tiny hallway to find an empty compartment. Lucky for us, the students wanted to spend their last Christmas at Hogwarts, giving us the chance to find a compartment for ourselves.

 

We put our baggage away and slide on the bench. I take the sit closes to the window and Remus sit down next to me, taking my hand in his. I look at him and we share a small smile. I look back at the window to see the beautiful castle disappear in the horizon. I know that I’m going to miss this place, there’s no point denying it. Hogwarts brought me everything I didn’t even know myself I was craving about. It gave me friends, family and love. I look at the school one last time before whispering a ‘thank you’.

 

“Earth to April! Do you copy?” Lily screams, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes.

“What?” I ask, winking several times to bring my attention back to my friends.

“What kind of candies do you want?” she asks, almost irritated to repeat her question.

That’s when I spot the Candy-woman standing in the doorway and I realize that everyone’s waiting for my answer. My cheeks grow red out of embarrassment and I quickly respond that I don’t need anything.

“As you wish.” James cuts me short before turning to the woman. “Give ma all sorts of candies you have” he exclaims, almost jumping in anticipation, like a kid.

Sirius intercepts the candy bag before it reaches James hand and start digging into it like a starving lion. James and Peter immediately starts to shout at him and soon they are all three fighting to win the candy bag.

Lily rolls her eyes and I can’t hold back a smile at their childish behaviour.

 

 

We all eat and laugh as we remember the events of the previous night and the trip has never seemed so short to me. The train comes to a stop and it’s time to say goodbye on the station platform.

 

They are all excited to see their parents again, except for Sirius who doesn’t feel like he belongs to his family. We all share a quick hug and I hold on to each one of them as tight as I possibly can.

“Wow, slow down my dear! You are going to crash our bones!” Sirius says in a laugh. I punch him playfully in the shoulder before saying.

“I’m going to miss you. All of you” I confess, looking at them.

“We’ll miss you to, April” Lily responds, squeezing my arm and smiling at me.

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep in touch. That’s what owls are made for.” James states and Peter nods fervently to this. I smile at them, feeling my heart breaking more by each passing second.

 

They all wave at Remus and me before leaving in different directions. I wave back at them, my heart as heavy as a rock, before turning my attention to Remus still standing in front of me.

“You promise to send me a letter almost every day?” I ask him, looking up with pleading eyes.

“Of course, I will” he promises, squeezing my hand for comfort. “But it’s only two weeks. We will soon see each other again.” He adds in an attempt to light the mood.

 

I don’t respond, and just nod before pressing a shy kiss on his lips. I cross my arms behind his neck and I feel his arms crossing on my back. I bury my head in the crock of his neck, his now familiar sent of cinnamon and forest soothing me as the tears start rolling down my cheeks.

I was too aware that it could be the last time for me to hold him that close to my heart.


End file.
